Writer's Grove

My website is UP and I'm moving!

2010-12-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

It's been in development a while and it will continue to grow and get tweaked, but my website is now up and running! The contents of this blog have been exported there, but it's still called Writer's Grove and new entries will appear there from now on. I hope you'll all stop by to check it out and come back often. Feel free to comment!

It's easy to comment, by the way; you don't have to follow me or register. And once I figure out how to do it, you can even have a little avatar doodad show up next to your name. Also, if you're on Facebook, there's a cool goodie on the home page you can click to "Like" me without leaving the site. Same goes for Twitter.

Know what else is super cool? If you go to the Books page on the site you'll see the final cover for my third book, HAMMERED! It's been up on Amazon for a while, but I haven't posted it anywhere myself.

There will be a free short story posted on the site in the coming weeks, along with some other goodies—keep checking the Goodies page. :)

Sentence Envy

2010-12-04T09:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I congratulate myself for something I’ve written, a sentence or a phrase that I think is fairly succulent and worth chewing on for a while. But most of the time, when I read, I’m struck by Sentence Envy. Other authors write delicious things I wish I’d written. But there’s one particular author who writes sentences that just get in my head and kind of turn in circles, like a dog settling down for a nap, and then they rest there, fat and sassy, a tether to a different world. It’s William Gibson. Here’s what I mean:

The receptionist in the cool gray anteroom of the Galerie Duperey might well have grown there, a lovely and likely poisonous plant, rooted behind a slab of polished marble inlaid with an enameled keyboard. —Count Zero

His eyes were eggs of unstable crystal, vibrating with a frequency whose name was rain and the sound of trains, suddenly sprouting a humming forest of hair-fine glass spines. —Neuromancer

“Call him,” he repeated, wrapped in Japanese herringbone Gore-tex, multiply flapped and counterintuitively buckled. —Zero History

His worlds are at once slick and dissonant, a polished surface with an invisible coating of malice on top, constant tension embedded in the language itself. I can’t write like that, but I’m glad somebody does. If you’ve never read Gibson, you’re missing out one of the premier wordsmiths of our time.

Does anyone else get struck by Sentence Envy?

Stuff They Never Told Me About Publishing #1

2010-11-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

You know those video games where all of the unexplored portions of the map are covered in darkness—they call it “fog,” and you have to go there to reveal what’s hiding? And sometimes the stuff that’s hiding is freakin’ awesome (like a special weapon or nummy digital food or an extra life), and sometimes it’s an obstacle you can’t get around and you have to go another way, and sometimes it’s stuff that wants to slay you and splatter your viscera on the walls? Publishing is kind of like that, except for the splattering viscera. The sense of adventure is really honkin’ cool, so if you’d like to learn everything as you go, then by all means, stop reading now. But for those aspiring writers who’d like to know, I thought I’d share a few things I didn’t find out about publishing until after the deal was made and I started walking through the fog. This will be an ongoing series with absolutely zero splattered viscera.

Book tours aren’t cost effective.

I’ve been surprised at how many people ask me if I’m going on a book signing tour. There seems to be an assumption that all authors do it. I knew that couldn’t possibly be the case before I signed my deal, but I didn’t know the reason why. I discovered that, economically, it’s not sensible for a publisher to lay out that kind of bread—airfare, hotels, meals and so on—when you might get twenty to sixty people showing up to buy a book at any given site. The publisher’s money would be better spent on marketing and social media networks. Most authors you hear/see doing tours have established reputations or prior celebrity status and are sure to draw big crowds of fanboys and fangirls. But debut authors like me? Nah. It doesn’t make sense to expect people to skip their favorite TV show and go to Borders on a Wednesday night to meet a dude they’ve never heard of before. What I’ll probably do is a few signings in Arizona because the books are set here, but that will be it to begin with. I'll continue to appear locally as often as I can because it'll be on my own dime. But honestly, a large part of this process is still in the fog for me, because from what I understand signings don’t get arranged until a couple months from the release date, and I'm still four and half months out.

You need a platform.

You have to blog and tweet "and stuff." If you do it well, then you have this thing called a platform, and this is something you absolutely must have. Everybody says so. But here I must confess that I’m not too clear on why. It’s kind of like the importance of getting good grades in high school: all the adults tell you it’s vital for your future, and so you study for the quadratic equation test because you hope it will make sense someday. That’s kind of what I’m doing with my blog. I try to provide some info for aspiring writers (because I know what it’s like to be one) and some entertainment as well (mostly for myself), but I’m sort of in a continuous cringe, waiting for someone to swoop in and say, “No, no, no, McFly, you’re doing it wrong!” And I’m also waiting for someone to explain exactly how x number of followers on my blog or on Twitter translates into x number of sales I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I don’t mind blogging or tweeting—I enjoy both quite a bit! But I don’t understand how the mechanics of this platform thing truly works. (Does anyone? I've heard of social media experts, but I don't know them socially, so how expert can they be, right?) This is one of those things that don’t get adequately explained to newbie authors and thus you might as well get used to it. You need a platform because everyone says so and everyone’s doing it. Now go and build one, and don’t forget to write your next book. ;)

There are many people involved in publishing a book, and they’re all awesome.

Agent. Editor. (Those are the two I knew about because those are the people aspiring writers are understandably obsessed with getting to.) But since the deal, I've played jokes on my Assistant Editor and have been pranked in return. And then there's the Copy Editor. Managing Editor. Marketing Dude. Publicity Dude. (Marketing and Publicity are two different departments and I didn’t know that before; I know who my marketing fella is, but I don’t know who’s in charge of my publicity yet—that’s still in the fog.) Typesetting House. Art Director. Photographer. Model. Digital Artist. A department of people who deal with Subsidiary Rights. The nice lady at the security checkpoint in the Random House building who prevented me from injuring myself. There’s somebody named Phil in Accounting and he sounds like a cool cat. And then there’s the printer, of course, and the people in Sales who take my book to the buyers for the bookstores and say LOOK, THIS BOOK IS FRICKIN’ RAD AND I WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND IF YOU MAKE YOUR EMPLOYEES TACKLE YOUR CUSTOMERS AND THRUST IT INTO THEIR HANDS! And we can’t forget the distributor, the warehouse workers, the nice guys who drive my books around, and the spiffy people who work in bookstores and never tackle their customers. I’m sure there are plenty more but I’m not aware of their existence yet. All those people have buttloads of work to do to make sure my book hits the shelves on time and calls to people with the lure of a siren. They come online at different stages of the process and I couldn’t possibly thank them all, but once you think about it, it makes sense why it takes about a year for a book to get “out there.” And it also makes sense why self-publishing often doesn’t work out so well; it’s because you’re trying to do all those jobs yourself and you can’t.

That's all for this installment. If you'd like to hear about something specific, let me know. :)

Write more

2010-11-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

When it comes to writing novels only one thing is easier—knowing I'll finish. I have a confidence there where there used to be gnawing uncertainty that I might be wasting my time. Now I know that I can probably crank out two a year if I have an outline for them. That's vastly comforting. But there are other parts to the writing process that will never get easier.

1. Revising. There aren't any shortcuts. I revise quite a bit before my agent and editors take a peek, and then revise more after they give me their comments. I don't think anyone writes the Golden Draft...maybe I'll produce a copper or bronze one someday. :)

2. Waiting. Once I send work to my agent, he sends it out on submission...and I wait. Sometimes the wait isn't all that long, but sometimes it's months. I try to deal with it by writing more. And if there's a deal, then there's another wait on the contract (which is where your agent truly earns his money and is worth every penny of his commission). Sometimes that wait is only a month or so, but I've also had to wait close to a year because of problems with boilerplate contracts, and my agent had to take on Viking Death Ships full of lawyers. (Luckily, he ate his spinach.) And after the contract is finished and you sign it, there's another wait for the money to arrive—anywhere from a couple of weeks to three months, depending on where it's coming from. If there isn't a deal, well then...

3. Rejection. It still happens. Getting published once isn't a golden ticket to getting published again, and getting published in the U.S. doesn't mean other countries are going to hand over bags of money for translation rights. One market will look at my series and say "Gimme!" and another will look at it and say "Meh." The answer to rejection, like waiting, is to write more, because otherwise I might chew glass.

4. Fear of #3. Even though I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm capable of writing publishable books, I still look at my writing at times and conclude that it isn't good enough. "Whine," I say to my wife, "whine whine this sucks whine whine." She tells me to shut up, I do, and write more. It's the only thing that can possibly make the sucking stop, after all.

Right now I'm enjoying coffee with this seasonal creamer in it—it's called marshmallow mocha. Mmm. Hope you're taking advantage of the season's opportunities for warm, comfy drinks. And writing more.

It's piñata time

2010-11-24T17:11:00.000-08:00

I've always enjoyed my family tradition for Thanksgiving, but didn't realize it was out of the mainstream at first. I thought with a certain naïveté that since everyone got the day off and everyone was talking turkey, everyone must celebrate it the same way too. Eventually, after seeing several movies of people indoors and not beating the shit out of a piñata, I hypothesized that maybe my family did things a bit differently. To test it, I asked a school friend after Thanksgiving, "So what did you get out of your piñata?" and received a look of complete bewilderment in return. That clinched it. My family was the strange one. But also very cool.

We go out to the desert and have Thanksgiving dinner outdoors. We can do that because it's Arizona, and nine years out of ten the weather is just fine on the fourth Thursday of November. Refusing to succumb to food comas, we then climb a hill with a beautiful view of Rio Verde and some almond orchards, snap a few pictures, then climb back down and ritualistically, mercilessly, joyfully thrash an innocent piñata to death. Don't judge; it's great fun and we bond over the shared violence, and besides, that papier mâché had it coming.

There is much to give thanks for this year. Hope you have many blessings to count and you enjoy lots of warm fuzzies, and maybe hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Release date moved up!

2010-11-22T05:27:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to time travel, and for a while I held on to a tiny dream that one day I would find someone like Doc Brown, and he'd have a flux capacitor in a blue Shelby Mustang, and once we got hold of 1.21 jigowatts of electricity (the movie's approximation of gigawatts), we'd be golden. We (the Doc and I) would go back and see Hamlet when it first debuted in Elizabethan England, and then we'd most likely catch the plague and die. Or get hanged as witches. Today that dream sort of came true.

I didn't find a Doc Brown, but I did receive notice that my long wait for publication has just been shortened by a week. The release date for Hounded has been moved up from April 26 to a NEW! EARLIER! date of April 19! So in a way it's like I skipped a week of time there. And so did everyone who pre-orders the book or buys it the first week! All those lucky people have become time travelers and probably would be justified in becoming a bit snooty about it. I'm a wee bit saddened that it didn't involve a tricked-out Mustang (or a ride in Dr. Who's TARDIS—bow ties are cool), but I'm certainly not going to complain. A shorter wait is just one more thing to give thanks for on Thursday.

Weekend Update

2010-11-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

1. I'm frustrated that I can't seem to watch Sharktopus on demand. I've seen the trailers and it's chock full of ridiculous. The kind of movie where you just sit down with some friends and popcorn and laugh. I don't troll the TV enough to catch it when it's on the Syfy Channel, and it's a shame, because I think it has the potential to be a B (or C) movie classic.
2. My school's football team advanced in the state playoffs last night. They're in the final four; it's the best they've ever done. I won't get to announce anymore, though, since it must be in a neutral location and I'm not a neutral announcer.
3. Going to see Harry Potter at some point this weekend; kid is looking forward to it, to put it mildly.
4. Author Stacia Kane put up a great post about copyright and if you're a writer (or a reader) you should check it out.
5. My webmaster dude (IT term) is working on my site and what I've seen of it so far is pretty spiffy.
6. For two whole days this week, I had nothing to grade. It was awesome. But now I have a giant stack of essays to look over, so I'd better get to it.
7. All three books now have their cover art up at Amazon! And (ahem) they're available for preorder! :)

Happy Tidings

2010-11-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

1. By this time tomorrow I will be caught up on my grading—only happens eight times a year! But I'm not quite caught up yet, so this will have to be quick.

2. Gaius Baltar is dead. He died in the Suvudu Cage Match at the hands of mouse-clicking George R.R. Martin fans, despite the fact that he had a gun and his opponent had a sword. The happy bit about this is that I had a wonderful time writing up those little scenarios.

3. The Iron Druid Chronicles will be translated into Thai and Russian! Very grateful to Tathata publishers in Thailand and Olma Press in Russia, and extremely excited to see the covers!

4. It's just about marshmallow season.

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #6

2010-11-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've done one of these, but I finally scored a beer I've been looking for and I had to write it up. My writing/blogging friend Hillary Jacques told me about it and claimed it was to die for; I have taken her at her word because she's from Alaska, and people have died for stranger things than beer in the land of salmon and short summers.

The beer is Alaskan Smoked Porter, and it comes in big ol' dated bottles. For such an august brew I broke out the seminal autumn cuisine and a very serious dwarf to guard it.

That's a grilled brat with sauerkraut and mustard, accompanied by some kettle chips. The Alaskan Smoked Porter stands majestically to one side. And on duty today from the dwarf kingdom is Einar Ericksson, high atop the seeded bun, shining a light in the dark cave of tasteless beers and leading us to liquid gold.

Einar's motto ("I seek treasure and beer and often don't know the difference") is an example for us all. And in truth, he's something of an archetypal character, guiding us through menus of tasteless swill to find a brew with gustatory substance. Do you doubt his archetypal muscle? Behold:

See, they're really the same guy. The hermit is a bit longer in the femur, that's all. And maybe he could use a Snickers bar. But Einar is carryin' a freakin' GUN, son! That's because he can lead you through the mines past the Balrog to the legendary casks of Shaft-Aged Scrumptious Shit, brewed by the celebrated hopmaster Steinar Thorvaldsson. And if any demons from the old world show up to try to mooch a pint, Einar will pop the bastard between the eyes with a black powder ball! Ain't nobody gonna snake my Smoked Porter with Einar on the job.

Speaking of which: I can see why so many Alaskans have died for this noble brew. Jerry Hoffman of Fairbanks lost his life when he attacked a Kodiak bear trying to break into his cooler of Smoked Porter; he was armed with nothing but a pair of BBQ tongs. Fisherman John O'Bryan of Anchorage accidentally dropped an unopened bottle in the sea, dove after it, and got eaten by an orca that mistook him for wayward chum. ("Carry On, My Wayward Chum" is the unofficial anthem of Alaskan fishermen.) If you get a chance to snag a bottle, do—you can always age it in your silver mine for a few years if you don't have occasion to drink it right away. It's awesome.

And now for something neither here nor there. To the person who thought it would be a good idea to take one of the greatest rock songs of all time—"Sweet Child o' Mine" by G n' R—and chop out 16 measures here and there to make it more "radio friendly": You suck hairy goat sack! You mutilated a masterpiece and ruined the song's balance, removed its musical tension so that we're left with all yang and no yin. You even cut off half of Slash's epic solo. What possessed you? Did you wake up in the morning and say, "Today, I'm going to take someone's work of genius and turn it into shit!" or are you seriously so clueless that you thought this might be a good idea? Honestly, I'm never listening to that station again. If they don't want to respect the music—leave someone's creative vision as is—then I'm not going to give their advertisers a chance to reach my ears. This concludes my rant. I am going to let Einar help me find a happy place.

Goodreads

2010-11-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

Don't know if you've ever checked out Goodreads.com or not, but I dig it and I'm "there" now as an author if you'd like to click over there and say howdy. You can friend me there or follow me as a fan (I think?) and my blog posts will update there too. I'm not going to attempt to rate all the books I've read because that would take a looong time, but I do enjoy putting some things up and comparing my ratings with others, especially my friend Alan, who tends not to like things as much as I do. He's a bit more critical than I am, and that's a good thing, believe me, because he's my alpha reader and I don't know what I'd do without his insights. Usually I'll give four or five stars to things or I won't rate it at all, proceeding on the maxim if you don't have anything nice to say...you know. The exception to this rule is Charles Dickens. I delight in giving his books one star. I might be the only person in the world who despises Charles Dickens, but I'm grateful to Goodreads for giving me a forum to express my wintry discontent with so little effort.

The other thing that's really cool about Goodreads is the ability to get some ideas on what to read next...and I'm almost to the point where I'll need something soon. I've been making progress through my pile o' books and I'm just about caught up. I think I have found a candidate for the next one...it's called Hunger by Jackie Kessler. It's about one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Know why I'm going to read it? Because of this picture right here:

That's Neil Gaiman holding Hunger. That's all I needed to know. Put that on my TBR pile.

Also, my cover is getting "out there" and I'm very happy to see that people tend to like it. A lot. Here's a blog where it appeared recently—she got the photos from my Twitter feed, so thanks to Persephone for following my tweets!

And today I will leave you with a gratuitous photo of my Boston Terrier, Sophie:

Shiny Covers!

2010-11-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

They didn't tell me they would be shiny! I just got what they call sales proofs in the mail—these are what the sales folks take around to bookstores and say, "See, if you're going to judge a book by its cover, then THIS ONE WINS!"—and the title that was previously white text is now foil stamped and embossed! I had no idea they were going to do that until my editor told me they'd gone ahead and done it. My scan doesn't do it justice, but you'll get the idea:

As Patrick Rothfuss would say, click to embiggen

Well, my peeps at Del Rey outdid themselves with these covers. I love 'em! They are going to gleam on the shelves! Ginormous thanks to authors Ari Marmell, Kelly Meding, and Nicole Peeler for reading the book before the awesome cover existed and saying something nice about it. That truly means the most, because they didn't have to read it or say anything nice, yet they did.

Now here's a better look at the cover for book two in the series:

I really dig this one because you can see Atticus's tattoo much better; it wraps five times around his biceps and then falls down the top of his forearm, but you can't see that in the pose for Hounded. This cover has a couple more touch-ups to go before it's finalized, but it's 90% there and they needed to get a proof out for the sales team. I think it looks spectacular as is! Hope you dig 'em too.

Platform Building with a Pug

2010-11-07T16:02:00.000-08:00

There's a pretty cool post over at SFWA by Victoria Strauss about gettin' published: It's not a crap shoot. She addresses three assumptions made by grumbling, rejected writers, and while I urge you to click over and read her original post, I'd like to piggyback on those assumptions based on my own recent experience.

1) First assumption: All manuscripts are on equal footing in the marketplace. As she says, that's completely untrue, and I'm not talking about anyone's writing but my own. The two books I wrote, submitted, and had rejected before I wrote Hounded were not all that great, though I thought they were okay at the time. Only with experience and hindsight did I see that they deserved to be rejected. Yet I don't regret writing them; I learned a lot in the process and they got me to a much better place in my craft. If you're on submission right now, write the next book while you're waiting; it'll probably be better than the one you're shopping around. (It worked for me.)
2) Second assumption: The industry doesn't want new writers. Not sure how anyone can believe this one. I just read a great debut by Mark Hodder called The Strange Affair of Spring-Heeled Jack. And my fellow inductees into The League of Reluctant Adults, Sonya Bateman and K.A. Stewart, came out with their debuts this year. I'm obviously a new writer, and there are plenty more on deck...so I think that one's wishful thinking, whoever thinks it.
3) Last one: No one wants a writer without a platform. Strauss says this assumption is more true for nonfiction writers than fiction...and she's right. I'm still trying to build my platform; I wrote and sold my book without knowing what a platform was. In fact, I'm still not sure about the whole platform-building thing, since I'm such a newb to this aspect of the business. What I probably need is some help from my pug, Manley (named after the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins). Come on: How can you not follow a guy who has the devotion of a pug like this?

Manley likes laser pens and long walks in the dog park.

My write-up of Baltar vs. The Mountain That Rides is up on Suvudu on Monday! Don't forget to vote for Baltar! :)

Mental Flotsam Purge #1

2010-11-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm currently marveling over the fact that there's a British actor by the name of Benedict Cumberbatch. I love that name. I think it's my new favorite, honestly. For many years, my favorite name was Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged, but that's a fictional name courtesy of Douglas Adams. Benedict Cumberbatch is a real dude. He's now starring as Sherlock Holmes for the BBC.

Here is a silly one-verse parody I made up in the car while driving to work...can you guess the Zeppelin tune?

There's a barmaid who's sure

All that she pours is gold

And she's pulling the next draught

For Kevin.

I'm a fan of old spellings. "Draught" scores about four million style points over "draft." Draught beers taste better to me than draft beers because they're spelled deliciously.

My next write-up of Gaius Baltar's adventures in the Suvudu Cage Match will appear Monday morning. He's taking on The Mountain That Rides from George R.R. Martin's series, A Song of Ice and Fire. I'll desperately need your help for Baltar to win...the fans of Martin's series are legion. Round up your kids and all your laptops and vote for Baltar! :)

Benedict F***ing Cumberbatch. That's a seriously epic name. It's right up there with Bilbo Baggins.

The sound of my dishwasher is oddly comforting to me. I am wondering if it was designed to mimic the pulsing whoosh and hiss of the womb.

Many folks doing NaNoWriMo, and I wish them the very best; I hope something publishable comes out of it. I cannot yoke myself to that particular plow, because it seems (and I stress the SEEMS because I don't know, having never done it) to prize quantity over quality. I do recognize its value for those who need to discipline themselves to a course of writing, and I'm absolutely positive that it works extremely well for many people; I'm just not one of them. I write somewhat sporadically while school is in session, but always try to get in a couple thousand words a week at minimum. Once I'm off school, I usually write 2-3K per day. Today I'm very pleased to have surpassed 10,000 words on my fourth book. Getting into five digits feels pretty good. What would feel completely awesome though is coming up with a name like Benedict Cumberbatch. Maybe I should just snag a British phone book...

HOUNDED cover revealed!

2010-11-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

Though I suppose I could be accused of bias when I say "I LOVE IT!" it's true nonetheless. The cover for Hounded is awesome; Del Rey has captured Atticus perfectly!

When Tricia & Mike (my spiffy editors) told me that Advanced Reader's Editions were on their way, they made one request: have someone take pictures of me opening the box. They know I've been waiting to be published a long time, and to see my book bound and printed for the first time would be, in the words of our vice president, "a big f#%!ing deal." I agreed readily, not knowing what torture it would be...

The box arrived on Friday; I arrived soon after. BUT NO ONE WAS AROUND TO TAKE PICTURES. I couldn't open it! I could have gone to a convenience store and made the clerk take pictures—I was thinking such things—but not seriously, because I wanted my family to be around when I opened it; they've been waiting a long time to see the book too. I had to wait three hours for my wife to get home, gnawing on my fingers the whole time, staring at the Box of Joy that I could not open.

It taunted me with its Random House return address and its priority overnightness:

Do not be alarmed by my strange expression in the next picture. I'm petting the box and purring, see. Well, okay, be alarmed if you'd like.

Purrrrrr.

The Box of Joy finally surrendered its happy contents to me:

....Words fail. All I can say is that there's nothing like a dream coming true, and I couldn't be happier.
Below is my photo of the ARE cover. I apologize for the wee bit of glare. Also, the icons on the charms aren't really coming through on this picture—all you see are black squares—but you'll see them "for reals" with your naked eye, and they're sublime. I'll have the cover art file later, but for now enjoy the ARE:

If Atticus looks at you like that and draws his sword, APOLOGIZE. It doesn't matter for what, just tell him you're sorry and you'll never do it again!

I've said it before and I'll say it lots more: Del Rey has been completely lovely to work with. Tricia and the art dept. deserve mad props for this cover, and for the Hexed and Hammered covers as well. They brought Atticus to life and they incorporated my suggestions beautifully; I will build them a shrine and make offerings of gummi worms and beer.

And whoa—Hounded is now available for pre-order on Amazon, Borders.com, and BN.com! They don't have the cover image up yet, but in case you're really itching to get a head start on buying the books you need to read in April, now you can!

In other news—yes, I have other news!—my Cage Match write-up of Gaius Baltar vs. Feyd Rautha-Harkonnen should be up sometime today on Suvudu.com, so I'd love it if you went over there and took a gander. And, should you be so inclined, please vote for Baltar! Not only is he a completely awesome villain that you love to hate, as long as he wins, I get to keep writing!

I wish you peace, if you're into that sort of thing. Otherwise, may you be swept suddenly into a world of intrigue and learn a rune-based magic system in only three days to prevent a demon apocolypse.

Developments & Shocking News

2010-10-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

The shocking news first: I have discovered that there are some human beings—sharing the planet with us right now, I might add—who don't like pie. Until today, I was not aware that this was an option. I'm actually thinking that this is an elaborate hoax perpetrated by my students, and those who protested to me that they seriously don't like pie are being contrary. I am tempted to dismiss it all as teenage rebellion. I mean, how can you look at this...

and react to it like this....?

That's not right.

But in other news: I have found a neato website designer, thanks to a neato guy named Joe. The neato website designer is Sean; he'll be getting something together for me soon once my cover art is finalized. I'm going to migrate this whole honkin' blog over to my website, and it'll be a WordPress kind of thing because I hear all the cool people are using it (plus I'll be able to update the site easily, which is its primary attraction).

Dudes: Six months until Hounded is on the shelves. It's starting to feel real.

I think (I hope?) Gaius Baltar will beat the White Witch in Round One of Suvudu Cage Match: Villains, and as such I'll get to write a new throw-down featuring him and whoever wins between the Borg Queen and Feyd Rautha-Harkonnen. (Can I just say how much fun it was to type that sentence? Most people would shuffle away from me and signal a taxi if I said that out loud, but I can let my Nerd off the chain when I blog.) Feyd is winning so far, so I'm having fun imagining that particular scenario. I'll know the final results tomorrow (Thursday) and then I'll have a couple o' days to come up with a lovely violent vision for Gaius. The new write-up will appear on Monday, and of course I'd appreciate your support once again for Baltar...I get to write about him for as long as he lasts!

Progress on book four, Tricked, has been going well this week. I introduced three new characters and gave Oberon his longest speech of the series thus far. But I realize now that Oberon has yet to eat any pie in my fiction—indeed, my books have thus far been pie-free. Perhaps I will soon have occasion to enshrine pie in my series. Any votes on what kind of pie?

A Villain Worth Celebrating

2010-10-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

A common complaint about villains in stories and film is that at some point their motivation all boils down to ruling the world. The super-cheesy ones say so plainly with malevolent glee and tack on an evil laugh at the end—“And then I will rule the world! Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa!” Mike Myers mocked this tendency brilliantly in the Austin Powers movies. But why do they want to rule the world? Because it’s there?

They’re power-mad, these villains, and we rarely get any idea of what truly motivates them. Take Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace, for example—what drove him to hate so much? What was his beef with the Jedi? We never find out. He’s one of the flattest characters ever. He had a cool Halloween mask for a face, a neato double light saber and a gliding motorcycle thingie—but he was completely boring. Darth Vader was (and is) a much better villain, because we know what happened to him and we can empathize a bit with what turned him to the Dark Side—namely, the death of his mother.

But even though Darth Vader is one of the greatest villains ever and rightly deserves his top-ten seeding in the Suvudu Cage Match, I think there’s another villain in that particular tournament of evil that deserves a lot more respect: Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica.

The genius of Baltar is that he’s always able to convince himself that he’s doing the right thing, the best thing for everyone—it’s just a coincidence that it’s also the best thing for him personally. Occasionally, he’s able to convince people—and perhaps us, the viewing audience—that he’s actually the victim. Nothing is ever his fault. He doesn’t have an evil bone in his body.

He sure does have a selfish bone, though.

To my mind, Baltar is the best villain ever because any one of us could become him. We couldn’t become Sauron or the White Witch or the Terminator, or many of the others in the Suvudu Cage Match: they’re all one-dimensional bogeymen, a foil for the naïve hero. But we could (and we do) make choices based on our own selfish desires. Like Baltar, we could descend into corruption in our pursuit of power, fame, fortune, and the sensual luxuries that are supposed to attend them. And we could tell ourselves, all the while, that we are the heroes of our own story; we could even pile on great heaping dollops of this faith or that, as Baltar eventually does, and give our actions the hue of religious righteousness.

If you want to see someone truly go to the Dark Side, Baltar is the one to watch. The villains from Star Wars go there and get symbolically cloaked in darkness, but they, like many other fictional villains, are a bit over-the-top, a bit too cartoonish, and thus they are entertaining more than truly horrifying. Baltar, however, is wholly loathsome and terrifying, because I can easily imagine him in our world today; I think there may be a few copies of him running around right now.

Now through Thursday, you can go vote for Baltar in the Suvudu Cage Match. He’s up against the White Witch from Narnia. I wrote up the prediction for how I think it will go—and if Baltar wins, I’ll get to write more. I think he should win the whole tournament, and with your help, he will! Spread the word, please—a vote for Baltar is a vote for well-rounded villains that we love to hate. While you’re at it, vote on the other matches, too—it’s tremendous fun and a chance to geek out about your favorite bad guys.

If you’re visiting my blog for the first time because you saw my write-up on Suvudu—welcome, and thanks for visiting! Take time to explore the archives, follow me here or on Twitter, and feel free to say howdy in the comments!

I'm a Reluctant Adult

2010-10-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

No...really! I've joined the League of Reluctant Adults at their invitation, and I'm thrilled! What is the League?

Well, it's a group of 23 authors (including yours truly) who write Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance. We get together during conventions and whatnot to hold group signings, do unspeakable things to action figures, etc. I haven't met any of my fellow Leaguers in person yet, but I've read quite a few of their books and I know from that experience that they're brilliant. For example, there's Nicole Peeler, Kelly Meding, Stacia Kane, Cherie Priest, Anton Strout...and more!

Go visit the League here and follow us! Nicole Peeler is introducing/hazing me sometime today on the site, so you're sure get a laugh or two. You might have to scroll down to find me (depending on when you click over there because two other authors will be introduced), but it'll be worth it—Nicole is pretty funny.

A Wee Adventure in Bookman's

2010-10-14T20:14:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm on October break—a week off in between quarters. It's an excellent time o' year to be off work in Arizona. The weather is freakin' perfect.

Today was an especially cool day. I all but finished copy editing Hammered, I got invited into a SUPER! SECRET! club (which won't be a secret on Monday because I'll blog about it then), I hung out by the pool at an awesome resort with some friends of mine, hit the comic book store to pick up Chew #14 and Northlanders #33, then walked into a used bookstore out here called Bookman's.

Here is what happened when I walked into Bookman's with my daughter:

UNKNOWN FEMALE VOICE: (shock, excitement) Mr. Hearne!

Hearne turns his head to the right. Two students stand agape at the vision of their English teacher existing outside of school.

HEARNE: (shock, bewilderment) Brunnhilde! Megatron! (Names changed to protect the innocent)

BRUNNHILDE: I can't believe this!

MEGATRON: No WAY!

HEARNE: I know!

It is a magical moment for all concerned. Brunnhilde and Megatron realize that teachers have lives and do not live in coffins, iron maidens, basements, etc. Hearne is filled with hope for the future because he has now witnessed students visiting a bookstore of their own free will during a vacation.

Heh! Honestly, it was great. Those two kids are simply brilliant, and it's easy to see why, since they weren't at home watching TV or playing video games. They were in a bookstore. Looking at books. Talking about what they wanted to read! It made me ridiculously happy. Such a very cool day.

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #8

2010-10-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

I'm on my October break—which means a week off from school—and having a WHOLE! WEEK! to read and write and run errands during normal business hours sounds like a swim in milk chocolate right now.

My copy edits for Hammered are going to arrive today, so of course I'll be diving into that, and I'm hoping to finish up my outline for book six this week, which is currently wearing the tentative title of Hunted.

My outlines are about 10-15 pages. I'm making them longer and more detailed than I used to because I saw the advantage of it while writing Hexed; the detailed notes I'd written on Hexed allowed me to crank it out in five months, and it was also far easier to edit/prettify than Hounded or Hammered, neither of which had detailed outlines. So I've learned quite a bit about myself as a writer—I can write as a pantser and as a plotter as well—but wow, the job sure gets done more efficiently when I plot. That doesn't mean I slavishly follow the outline, either—I change things as I go, especially the order of events. I'll probably post my Hexed outline after the book comes out so people can compare what I'd planned against what actually got written.

Here's what I plan to read this week:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #8

We have three miniature fruits here alongside a giant variation of another. Miniature Clementine oranges, a wee watermelon, and a petite pumpkin frame Scott Westerfeld's dieselpunk Behemoth, while huge table grapes called Pristines nestle against the steampunk succulence of Cherie Priest's Dreadnought.

I loved both Leviathan (Westerfeld) and Boneshaker (Priest), so these sequels are going to be delightful returns to worlds I enjoyed on my first visit. I especially love that Dreadnought is printed in brown ink like Boneshaker was.

In other news, Suvudu is starting their Villain Cage Match! TODAY! You can go vote now for who should fill in the last few slots in the bracket here.

And when the first round starts, one of the matchups will be introduced by Yours Truly! The bracket is public now, so I'm not going to be spoiling anything with this: I've written up the White Witch from the Chronicles of Narnia (Seed #5) vs. Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica (Seed #28)! I hope you'll follow along and join in the fun by voting! These Cage Matches are the coolest thing ever...it's a chance to feed the Nerd Inside. So say we all.

Speaking to the APW

2010-10-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, the Rim Country Chapter of Arizona Press Women invited me to speak in Payson about writing genre fiction and how I got my start, and I accepted gladly. I've had plenty of practice keeping high school kids entertained for an hour, but could I do the same with adults? It turned out to be two hours. Once I got going I found out I had more to say than I thought. And they paid me a huge compliment—when the organizer asked about halfway (??) through if anyone wanted to stop and take a break, no one wanted to go! So that gave me warm fuzzies and I'm glad it wasn't a snorefest.

It was held at the East-West Book Exchange, an extremely cool little place with some gift shop goodies and a coffee bar (free wifi!) in addition to books and a lovely room that they rent out for yoga classes and small events like mine. Owners Chip and Lisa Semrau are gracious people and their mochas are fantastically good. Like holy-crap-I-think-Starbucks-sucks-now kind of good.

There were 35 people there, which I thought was fairly decent considering that I haven't even been published yet. Many of the people I spoke to had already been published in nonfiction markets but were curious about how to break into fiction, so I explained why getting an agent is a Really Good Idea and how one might best accomplish that, and I also spoke about urban fantasy tropes and the glorious fun of steampunk.

I saw some folks in the audience taking notes and they had some great questions afterward, so I hope it turned out to be helpful. I like to think of the market as a giant pie, and everyone should have a slice.

Mmm...pie.

Whiskey Row

2010-10-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

This post isn't about whiskey. But I could see how you'd think that, what with the title and all. Nope, this is about a destination.

Whiskey Row is in downtown Prescott, Arizona. It's famous for an awful lot of rows begun by men who drank too much whiskey. And, of course, there used to be a whole row of bars there in the days when people only bathed seasonally. There still are quite a few bars there, but they're interspersed with gift shops and scented candle stores now that people bathe more often. It tells you how far Arizona's come in a hundred years: we used to just need booze, but now we need booze and a way to smell good afterward.

On the corner of Gurley and Montezuma is the St. Michael Hotel. It's over a century old, which is "old" for Arizona. Teddy Roosevelt stayed there. John L. Sullivan did too, and I was told by my paternal grandmother (maiden name of Sullivan) that I'm distantly related to him somehow. (I only remembered that today, when I saw a plaque with his name on it affixed to the hotel. I sorta thought, "Wow. You know you're famous when your sleeping arrangements get marketed to future generations."And I might not be related to him at all—Grandma's story might have been blarney; I think he's someone every Irishman wishes he was related to, because he kicked a lot of ass and his mustache was epically virile.)

My supposed relation, John L. Sullivan

In any case, my family and I decided to sup in the bistro located on the ground floor of said establishment. It looked like this:

We were early so that's why the joint looks deserted. I ordered a broiled portobello stuffed with artichoke, spinach, tomato, zucchini and parmesan spread out on a red pepper coulis. Jasmine rice and veggies on the side. It looked like this and it was nummy:

I gave the cauliflower to my daughter because I can't eat that stuff. It looks like braaaaains.

We were visiting Whiskey Row today because there's a very cool photographer up there named Amy Ryland, and if I absolutely must let someone take my picture, then it's gotta be her. She found a spiffy stone wall on Whiskey Row and shot me there for my author photo. Brace yourself.

Ta-Effing-Daaa!

As promised, I eschewed the infamous and ubiquitous Author Chin Cradle. (Though I'm leaving my Profile Chin Cradle up on the right sidebar, and I'll also continue to use it on Twitter and Facebook because it cracks me up.) I didn't give into temptation and stand in front of a bookcase, either. Nope, this is Stone Cold Whiskey Row, and there's a twinkle in my eye because that tends to happen when I'm in close proximity to that much whiskey.

I think you can click on the picture to enlarge it, but I'd recommend that you resist the urge, because there's only so much cute chubby Irish guy you can handle.

My editor tells me that Advance Reader Editions of Hounded will be available sometime in December. I have no idea how many they will print or who will get them: It's a mystery. But O, frabjous day! My cover shouldn't be a mystery for much longer! For one thing, there will be a poster of it on display at the New York Comic Con next weekend. If you're going to be there, stop by the Del Rey booth and check it out. :)

Nom nom nom!

2010-09-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

When you present the Cookie Monster with a cookie, he’s going to love it because he’s the frickin’ Cookie Monster. He’ll eat it and say, “Nom nom nom!” even if it’s kind of bland and stale. But if you present the Cookie Monster with a kind of cookie he’s never had before —a rich, moist, warm one, say, plus a glass of milk—the Cookie Monster will probably have a sugargasm and he’ll say, “Nomnomnomnomnom!” There will be crumbs and blue fur everywhere, and slightly alarmed innocent bystanders will cover their children’s eyes in the name of decency.

Urban Fantasy readers (like me, anyway) are kinda like the Cookie Monster when it comes to novels in the genre. Give me a UF novel and I’ll devour it happily, saying “Nom nom nom!” all the while. But I think I’m about ready for that book that sends me into unchained fits of turbo-nomming. I need a more varied diet in my UF reading, but I need other writers to help me out a bit here—and maybe some suggestions from readers who can point me in the direction of something I haven’t seen yet.

What I’d like to read are more stories told from the point of view of characters who aren’t your everyday UF hero(in)es. Instead of a shifter, vamp, faery, demon, or a half-version of any of the above, can we get a story told from the point of view of a wight who’s a mite misunderstood? How about a dude who escapes from a mad gene-splicing scientist with the head of a cuttlefish? I want to get inside the head of a half-mad half-squid, you see, and hear about his struggle to hold on to his humanity while he pursues vengeance against the butcher who replaced his whiskers with tentacles, and weep with him as he tries to reconnect with his wife and daughter, both of whom happen to be allergic to seafood.

Gnomes, trolls, goblins, kobolds—I don’t think anybody’s written the definitive work (correct me if I’m wrong!). I’ve seen some mermaid stuff in YA fiction—I’m thinking Emily Windsnap—and I might be missing a whole lot more because I don’t read much YA. There’s probably a centaur book or two out there, maybe a hipster hippogriff. But I definitely haven’t seen any attempts to write these sorts of characters in the adult UF market. Then again, I might be the only guy demanding such stuff, which would explain the short supply.

I don’t know how much demand there is out there to hear stories about Druids—I guess I’ll find out next year when my books hit the shelves!—but one reason I chose a Druid to be my main character was to attempt to introduce something new-ish to all the Cookie Monsters out there. I know that vampire/shifter/magic-girl love stories are popular—I completely understand because I like them too—but I can’t believe that’s all people want to read. I think there are vast opportunities in UF to tell some fresh tales, from the harrowing to the humorous, but somehow the genre has worn itself into a few distinct ruts already, and instead of treading new ground, people are throwing themselves into the same few grooves. If you think it’s too risky to try something a bit “out there,” well, I can always point to my publisher (Del Rey) and say look, there are editors in the biz willing to take a chance on an unorthodox hero, because they’ve taken a chance with Atticus O’Sullivan. (Harry Connolly’s hero, Ray Lilly, is not your average bear, and neither is Stacia Kane's Chess Putnam—and look! They're both with Del Rey! ;))

I hope to try some new cookies soon. If you’re a writer, I hope you’ll find time to experiment in the kitchen of your word processor. And if you know of any unusual UF narrators out there now, please let me know in the comments! Nom nom nom!

If you stalk a writer...

2010-09-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

I have to sit still long enough for someone to take an author photo and I'm practically gibbering, "distilled almost to jelly in the act of fear." (Shout-out to Horatio)

How can I simultaneously make myself look interesting and yet not so weird that I scare the bejesus out of potential readers? Try to come up with an image of yourself being "conservatively interesting" and you'll see what I mean. It's nearly impossible. It's why authors give up and stand in front of bookcases. It's why they bow their heads and stare at pads of paper with pen in hand. It's why they do the infamous chin cradle (see my profile picture, which I did on purpose and it cracks me up) or skulk around trees.

I will not go gently into that good night: I shall not cross my arms in front of a bookcase and pretend that this is what I normally do. If one of those wildlife photographers were to stalk me, to capture my life candidly in my natural habitat, then they'd probably catch me reading comic books on the couch, far away from the bookcase. Or I'd be writing at the kitchen table, which is what I'm doing right now and where I write most of the time. There might (or might not) be a beer next to the computer. But I can't do any of that: see, if I'm reading a comic, some people are going to sneer at me because I'm reading comics, some will sneer because of the particular titles I read, and heck, I probably couldn't get permission to publish a copy of the comic cover in any case. And if I have a beer in the picture, I'm going to offend all kinds of people—first, people who don't drink, second, people who drink wine or "harrrrrd likker," and third, beer snobs who will criticize my unrefined palate no matter what's in my glass.

I paint miniature dwarfs, but someone will recommend me for therapy if they see a picture of that. On the other hand, I might be enshrined into the Nerd Hall of Fame for a picture like that.

Sigh. I'm probably going to hover around some plant life and hope it camouflages the fact that I'm almost forty. But it'll be kind of cool to have a "39" picture out there. I might wind up using it for a long time. :)

A Different Sort of Cage Match

2010-09-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

Suvudu will never run a Cage Match like what I saw tonight. I just watched the Cardinals and the Raiders play one of the worst games EVAH. The Cardinals "won" 24-23. It wasn't a victory for the Cardinals so much as proof that the Raiders Suck More. The Cardinals still sucked; they just Sucked Less. The whole thing was jaw-droppingly bad, except for that one immensely entertaining play where the Raiders fumbled, picked it up, then the referee got in the way and actually stripped the ball out of the running back's hand, sailed ass over teakettle, and the Raiders retained possession because the ball went out of bounds. That was all just the Raiders and the Ref. The Cardinals weren't really in that picture. I hope that play winds up on a highlight reel somewhere, because it was hilarious—an instant classic, actually, but they only did two replays on the broadcast. They need to put that thing on a loop!

Someone at the top of the Raiders' organization must have done some incredibly naughty stuff to deserve karma like this.

Excited for The Walking Dead

2010-09-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to watch other people deal with them, anyway...on TV. AMC's new series, based on the graphic novels, looks absolutely spectacular. It's going to be far more character-driven and tragic, methinks, than you'd see in a horror film, and it won't be anything like the campy fun of Zombieland. You won't see anybody sayin', "You got a purty mouth!" before clocking a zombie with a banjo.

If a zombie apocalypse were actually possible, I figure it would look much more like this bleak vision: lots of drama, lots of tension, and a despairing hope for a new world. This Halloween, I'm staying home and enjoying TV...because outside of football games, I haven't watched anything since Battlestar Galactica ended. Maybe I'll actually get scared on Halloween for a change!

I'm Tweaking

2010-09-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

I'm tweaking outlines for my agent and suggesting tweaks to the covers for the first three books. I got to take a look at the second draft of them yesterday and OMG they rock! Del Rey has been completely dreamlike here in working with me; they took my suggestions after the first round and made everything awesome. There are still some minor issues that need adjustment, but after these final tweaks get made I think we'll be in really good shape!

In other news, have you ever visited Suvudu.com? If you haven't, check it out and bookmark it. They ran a Cage Match earlier in the year where fans could vote on who would slay who if fictional characters fought to the death. For an example, here's a link to one of the matches between Gandalf and Hiro Protagonist (the best name EVAH). It was a ton o' fun, huge numbers of people voted, so they're going to do it in again, starting in late October, with a different set of characters. You won't want to miss it! Not only can you root and vote for some of your all-time favorite asskickers, but you might see something from Yours Truly up there. :) I'll provide a link when it's up!

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #7

2010-09-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've been able to read anything for fun. Now that school's back in, I tend to have other things to read. Here's what I have to read this weekend:

That's the typeset pages of my second book, Hexed, plus essays on The Crucible, a reworked paragraph from The Scarlet Letter, and some quizzes. Anybody who thinks teaching is a nine-to-five job doesn't know jack about it. With all that on my plate, it's tough to fit in any reading for pleasure...or writing, for that matter. But my editor sent me an Advance Reader's Edition of Cherie Priest's Bloodshot—it comes out at the end of January next year—and I'm tellin' ya, it grabbed me. I stayed up late to finish it and I paid for it the next day, yawning at everybody, but wow. I was already a fan of hers after reading Boneshaker (see Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #3), but this one has turned me into a fanboy. If you think Priest's steampunk is good, wait until you try her urban fantasy! Emphasis on the wait, I guess, since you'll have to wait before you can snag a copy, but it'll be worth the wait, I promise! Take a gander at it here, chillin' out with a Granny Smith:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #7

Tough to say which looks tastier, isn't it? Sweet cover—and an even sweeter story. Put it on your wish list. Speaking of covers, I've seen early drafts of mine, and I'm excited about the portrayal of Atticus! Can't wait until I can share!

And while we're on the subject of covers, I might as well throw in my two cents about photographic vs. painted covers, since I've seen a few posts about it recently out there on the Internet(s). Right now photographic covers in fantasy are very popular—they're selling well—and some folks bemoan the switch from painted scenes to photographed ones. There are even conspiracy theories out there—that this is a cost-cutting move by publishers, or they're trying to save time, even doing it out of sheer laziness.

Maybe they're right...I can't refute any of those arguments with solid facts or numbers, since I don't have access to them. But it sounds a bit off to me, simply based on what I've been seeing with the production of my covers. Is it cheaper to hire a single painter for a cover, or hire a photographer, a model, and a designer/digital illustrator? I'm guessing the costs are comparable, if not even more expensive on the photography side. And in terms of laziness, I haven't seen even a hint of that in my case. Del Rey has asked for my input on the character's portrayal, and they've been fastidious about sticking to it. Honestly, I couldn't ask for more. They got the hair right. They got the clothes right. They got the sword right. And since my character wears a cold iron amulet around his neck, together with some silver square charms with hammered designs on them, they had a jeweler make one from scratch so that the model could wear it during the photo shoot! Say what you want about costs and time savings, but that's definitely not lazy; that's scrupulous attention to detail. Perhaps I'm extraordinarily blessed to have a publisher who gives a damn—I certainly think so—but I imagine other publishers are doing the same with their authors. Take a look at Orbit's covers for Gail Carriger—especially her latest—and you'll see plenty of details.

I think using photography vs. paint is an attempt to make the characters more real for readers and bring that world alive in their minds. Judging by its success—we're seeing photography used in epic fantasy now, not just urban fantasy (see Peter V. Brett's The Desert Spear)—most readers appreciate it. I completely understand and sympathize with those who have different aesthetic sensibilities; there's no arguing matters of personal preference. And there's no denying that truly stunning paintings can add value to a book beyond the words inside. But I don't think there's a giant conspiracy of corner-cutting behind the switch to photographic covers; publishers are simply trying to compete and get their authors' titles noticed and picked up. Some covers work better than others—I certainly hope mine work better—but that was also true of painted covers. I'm not going to wail and gnash my teeth over it; I like the photographic ones just as much as the old-fashioned ones.

A bulleted list of updates

2010-09-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

•I have publication dates for all three books now:
HOUNDED, April 26, 2011
HEXED, May 24, 2011
HAMMERED, June 28, 2011

•In super-duper-happy-mega-big-jumbo news, I'm getting ultra-spiffy, full-color, finished-art ARE's (Advanced Reader Editions)! Normally ARE's are sent out with generic covers on them; they say the author's name, the title of the book, and then there's a nice houndstooth pattern or some diamonds or whatnot to look at, nothing more. Full-bore ARE's are supposed to indicate the publisher is really behind the book, thinks it will do well, etc. so I'm extremely grateful and lucky to have the coolest editor evah. But it also means I'll get to see some cover art a bit sooner than I thought! If you cannot feel my excitement pouring through the pixels at your eyeballs right now, then you are extraordinarily stable to the point of Stoicism! Squeeee! There. That did it. You're excited now too!

•Whoa! I got my first fan mail! A relative of my alpha reader wrote me a very nice note after he finished reading HEXED. Completely made my week. Here's a snippet:

The last fight scene was epic! I could picture it exactly--it was very easy to follow what was happening...I've read other books where I just get lost in the various battle sequences and I just end up skipping pages. Boo to them. You, sir, know what you're doing. Kudos.

Wasn't that sweet? He said a lot of very nice things, but that bit made me all warm and fuzzy inside because fight scenes are extremely difficult for me to write. I count that as high praise indeed. Thanks, Mike R!

•Possessed by whimsy, a couple of my friends are doing a parody of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video with me. We are all giant men. We won't be wearing spandex or leotards because we're trying to induce laughter rather than vomiting. Can't wait to get it all shot and edited...we did the first part today, and it was quite a hoot!

•Getting into The Scarlet Letter with the kids at school. The Romantic writing style is a bear, but the story is first-class soap opera, man. And Roger Chillingworth is the most cold-blooded villain ever. Dude creeps me out. I've had nightmares, because he just never gives up. And it's funny how some adults have heard we're reading it and they're instantly down on it. "HATED IT!" they say. Well, it's only because they're still having nightmares about Roger F-ing Chillingworth. I mean, if you give Darth Vader, Freddy Kreuger, and Roger Chillingworth each a planet of people to make miserable, first one to make 'em all go insane wins, Roger F-ing Chillingworth will win. He is a master of mental torture. Puritan Guilt: It's What's For Dinner!

I'm the Man in the Box

2010-09-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

Little known fact: I don't just moonlight as a novelist. I also do play-by-play sports announcing for high school football. All levels—Frosh, JV and Varsity.

I've been doing it since the school opened, and I have to tell you it's a lot more fun now that our football team is a bit better than it used to be. As the immortal Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh said, "I love winnin', man! Know what I'm sayin'? It's like, better than losing?"

What's NOT cool is that the media booth where I do my thing is a metal box without any air conditioning. So it spends all day heating up in the Arizona sun, and then it's nice and sweltering when I get there. It's quickly turbo-gross inside, and then for some bizarre reason, at about 7:15 pm without fail, a plague of tiny flying insects chooses to dive to their deaths on top of my player roster, the scoreboard controller, my scalp, etc.

"DIE, laddie!" I scream as I smoosh them to paste between plays. Once I forgot to turn off the microphone before I did this. It was misinterpreted, and I had to explain to a stadium full of people that I tend to talk to insects as I slay them. Sigh.

Tonight's the first home game, and it's always a good time. The band kids will be excited. The people who sell nachos will be excited. Heck, the people who eat nachos will be excited. And we have this tradition where someone does pushups on a splintery wooden board held up by fans in body paint. Sometimes these pushups are pretty gnarly. When it gets to be a high-scoring game, you have to wonder who can rip off 52 or so and look good doing it.

What I enjoy about high school games are all the reasons people are there. Some aren't there to watch the game at all. Some are way too into the game, shouting at the ref and the coaches and yes, the players for doing something they perceive as "stupid." Some are there to enjoy the atmosphere and people watch, and that's basically what I'm up to in between plays. That, and wishing one of those cold trains of refreshment would suddenly blow through the stadium like you see in the commercials. None of that refreshment would probably make it up to my metal box, but it would be nice to be reminded that refreshment is possible. Oh, and look, Old Spice Body Wash Guy, I don't care how awesome you are, you won't smell that good after spending ten minutes in my booth. You'll probably still look impossibly handsome, though, damn you. *envy*

Heading out now to be the Man in the Box...hope we win!

Where did the time go?

2010-09-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a week since my last post...I've been busy. School, you know. I'm finishing up The Crucible and about to start The Scarlet Letter. O, the calamities of Puritan drama! They'll be begging for the Age of Reason soon.

But I was rather productive over the long weekend. The typeset pages of HEXED arrived and I finished a read-through, finding far fewer errors than I did for HOUNDED, so that had me feeling happy. Still, I found a tiny sequence where I wasn't quite sure what was happening...I almost couldn't believe I'd written it. Funny how time away from a manuscript can bring out little things like that. So I have some very minor tweaks to make—probably less than 30 words—and then that will be finished.

I also finished outlining book five, which is (at this moment) titled TRAPPED. My earlier idea for that book's title was TEMPTED, but I decided that made it sound either like a romance novel or some sort of Food Network book about desserts. Romance and desserts are awesome, of course—especially together, isn't there a subgenre called Calorie Erotica?—but that's not the vibe I'm going for.

And hey, cheers to my followers in Australia—I think I have a couple, right? You'll be pleased to hear that I got my contract from Oz today, and the publication dates for all three books are just one month behind the US release, so you'll get HOUNDED in June, HEXED in July, and HAMMERED in August of 2011! I'm very excited about this and so happy that HarperCollins/Voyager decided to pick up the series!

Must go back to school now to announce the freshman football game. My play-by-play kung fu is the best in the East Valley. ;)

And my series title is...

2010-09-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

The Iron Druid Chronicles. I got the official word today from my editor at Del Rey!

I love it! It sounds so badass! I have hopes that maybe a tiny dusting of its badassery will accrue to me, since I'm the author. ;)

I've waited a long time to know what the series would finally be called—almost a year. The original series title I'd queried with (and got the deal with) was ditched long ago: I'd called it The American Druid Series. But it quickly became apparent that it wasn't appropriate for several reasons:
1. My Druid is Irish—as in, he's really from Ireland. (That means he can never be President—is that a spoiler?)
2. It sounded like a vaguely patriotic title, and my Druid cares very little about the interests of any political entity, much less one that's only been around for 234 years. (He's 2,100 years old.)
3. The series goes far beyond the boundaries of America after the first couple of books.

What followed was a long journey through rivers of discarded ideas. This one's my favorite, offered whimsically by my Assistant Editor, Mike Braff: "Druid, where's my car?"

A large part of the problem was that "Druid" doesn't scan well with other words. It doesn't fall trippingly off the tongue, shall we say, when one is trying to formulate a phrase that's simple and memorable yet captures the essence of multiple books in a series. When we strayed into ideas that didn't have "Druid" in them, however, we ran into other issues—the titles sounded too sci-fi, or too mystery-ish, or sounded too close to other titles out there. "Iron Druid" came to me yesterday on the way home from the day job, and it was one of those facepalm moments, where you can't believe you hadn't thought of it earlier. Especially since I'd written that exact phrase on page six of Hounded. So I sent it off to the big house in NY, and they liked it, and now I imagine they'll do something logo-ish with it to make it look even cooler than it sounds.

I want a T-shirt that says The Iron Druid Chronicles on it. I want the mug. The sheet set. And the limited edition Monopoly® game (I get to be Oberon!).

As if that news weren't spiffy enough, Tricia (my editor) told me the typeset pages for HEXED are on the way! Woohoo! This is a very cool Wednesday.

The 3:2 Interview with Gail Carriger

2010-08-31T01:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the fourth 3:2 Interview, where I ask an author three writing questions and two that are decidedly not about writing at all. Today I’m delighted to have a virtual tea with Gail Carriger. Gail is the bestselling author of the Parasol Protectorate series, an intriguing and vastly amusing mashup of urban fantasy tropes, steampunk fashion, and a Victorian comedy of manners.

Her main character, Alexia Tarabotti, is soulless—a condition that grants her certain powers in a London populated with werewolves, vampires, and other creatures of the gothic milieu.

Gail’s third book, Blameless, is available today at your favorite bookstore or online here.

KH: Gail, thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat.

GC: Thank you for hosting me.

KH: I know that your books are primarily written to be entertaining—at which they succeed magnificently—but I also enjoy the subtexts of various culture wars. Alexia’s Italian heritage and her soulless condition mark her as “other” in Victorian London, and she becomes associated with quite a few “others” during the course of the series. Most often she fights back against intolerance with superior fashion and manners, and I appreciate the light handling of weighty topics and that the books do not ignore the prejudices of the era (and indirectly shine light on our own). To what extent are you consciously exploring these themes?

GC: I do tend to prefer to take as light a hand as possible with even the most weighty of matters. I enjoy frivolity in all its many forms. That said, I am aware of some of the subtext. I am consciously playing with (and spoofing) Victorian bigotry and stereotypes. Alexia has some modern sensibilities, but in the end, she is a creature of her era. As the series progresses, readers get to see how this has colored her worldview – sometimes unpleasantly. As to some of the other themes of tolerance and tea addiction, I do think that an author's beliefs are bound to sneak into whatever she writes.

KH: Taking a break from questions of great import, I know you’re quite the tea aficionado. Right now I’m drinking Earl Grey with milk and honey, but due to being American—an incurable condition, I’m told—I’m desperately afraid that this makes me a rather pedestrian consumer. Could you educate my palate a wee bit? What sorts of teas should I seek out to mature my hopelessly American palate? And might this question be of greater import than I thought at first?

GC: Oh dear, this is quite a serious matter, indeed. I'm afraid I have never been one to condone the consumption of Earl Grey – nasty perfumey bit of business. I'm a Twinings English Breakfast gold label drinker myself. Which I have to track down and import from England specially. It's better than the American Twinings because it can be brewed strong enough for a mouse to run across without getting bitter. It should be drunk with a healthy dollop of whole milk. The milk adds just the correct amount of sweetness. Good tea, like good espresso, should not need a sweetener. If it is so bitter it requires sugar it is either over-brewed, under-milked, or bad quality tea. Or the tea drinker his ruined his palate with something utterly plebeian like – shudder – soda.

KH: Clearly I have months of rehabilitation ahead of me. :) How much of a distraction do you find social media like Twitter, Facebook, blogs and so on? Are they gigantic timesucks that threaten your ability to write anything? How do you balance the need to promote and connect with fans with the need to meet deadlines?

GC: A terribly big distraction, but social media has been very good to me. I try to be self disciplined about it. When I have a draft due and a deadline, I spend about two hours on social media three days a week, and do things like schedule my tweets ahead of time, or hold off on blogging to save time. If I'm really doing badly at staying on target, I remove myself to a cafe that has no wifi. It's difficult to balance because I want to be accessible and available to my fans, but I also need to write the next book or I won't have any fans. Luckily, they are pretty understanding when I go dark. The hardest thing is the guilt, when someone takes the time to write to me I feel awful if I don't write back immediately.

KH: Everybody wants to know more about bookshelf porn. (I can’t back that up, but I feel instinctively that it must be true.) You introduced me to the concept via your tweets, and I love it. Methinks the world would be better off if more people indulged. Which way do your tastes tend to run? The spare minimalism of modern shelves, the quirky shapes some of them employ, or the traditional wall unit of dark wood lurking in a study or library, faintly redolent of paper and glue and perhaps pipe tobacco?

Are you a purist who claims bookshelves are for books and naught else, or a knicknacker who believes bookshelves are enhanced by the addition of objets d’art, clocks, and maybe even action figures? What does your perfect bookshelf look like, and what might we see on it?

GC: It often surprises people but I'm a strict minimalist. I have a bit of an OCD side so I like my environment very tidy: modern or slightly Asian inspired furniture, nothing steampunk or frilly Victorian about it. To that end, I once saw a photo of someone who had organized all the books behind their couch by color. I live for that. As things currently stand, I have a mahogany bookshelf that came from my Scandinavian grandmother – very severe, on which reside all my favorite genre paperbacks and a small stack of trade sized Young Adult books. Then I have two stacks of Baedecker's (Victorian period travel guides) and some of my more frequently referenced primary sources. I try not to buy anything in hardback. Sharing the shelf is one small framed picture, a bobble-headed gold plastic octopus, and a vase of fresh flowers. Hidden away in the wardrobe are my "messy looking" research books.

KH: Steampunk is going mainstream, if it isn’t already there. In addition there’s dieselpunk, atompunk, and a whole lot of other punks running around threatening to make people’s lives absolutely fabulous. Why do you think all these punks are suddenly so appealing in fiction? (And by “suddenly” I mean within the last decade.) Is it the next evolutionary step in fiction, an outlet for counterculture expression, a wistful longing for what might have been, or…?

GC: I have many theories on this. Part of the appeal, I think, has to do with our own sense of chaos and impending doom in America right now. This often causes people to seek out a time period that was more rigid and controlled, full of polite manners and forms of address. Steampunk has the advantage of being connected to an aesthetic that incorporates the maker movement and even the green movement. I think that is a large part of its charm: style, conscientiousness, beauty, and escape – all rolled into one.

KH: I can empathize with that immensely—the green bit especially. Gail, thanks so much for visiting with me! I can’t wait to read Blameless, and I wish you the best of luck with it!

GC: Thank you! And good luck with your own literary future.

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #5

2010-08-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

I think there's probably this preconceived notion out there that miniature dwarfs only defend meat and beer. But that's a vicious lie—probably spread by miniature elves. Dwarfs acknowledge that consuming the occasional vegetable fends off scurvy and aids digestion. Hence the following:

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #5

My good friend Sigurd Kneecapper is guarding my Greek salad and a delectable brew called Easy Street Wheat in an Ommegang Witte glass.

The Greek salad is simple stuff: Roma tomatoes and cucumber, chopped basil, sprinkled with feta cheese, olive oil, and fresh-ground black pepper. Easy Street Wheat is from Odell Brewing in Ft. Collins, CO, and it was recommended to me a couple weeks ago by Anonymous in the comments after I sampled 90 Shilling Ale from the same brewer (in Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #3). Best Anonymous tip I've ever received—this beer has won five medals, including two golds, so you don't really need me to tell you it's freakin' good! It's exponentially more drinkable than that mass-produced beer that makes claims to drinkability, and it has just a whisper of sharpness to its taste that keeps it refreshing. Ommegang is a brewery in upstate NY near Cooperstown, and their Witte is very good. Their Three Philosophers Ale makes a guest appearance in my third book.

And now let's take a closer look at the stout sentinel, Sigurd:

If you try to score some of my Easy Street, Sigurd isn't going to make it easy for you. He aims low, you see—and I don't mean because he's a dwarf. He's swingin' for the knees first, and then when you're down and screaming, he'll leisurely swing that hammer at your squishy parts. You won't be thinking about my awesome beer at that point.

I pay Sigurd very well to guard my grub. That's why his (pick one) gromril/mithril/yourmomril armor is gold-kissed, from the chain to the plate to the spectacle helmet.

Remember to come back on Tuesday, when I'll have my 3:2 Interview with Gail Carriger!

One Hundred Plus Three

2010-08-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

Not sure if there's some sort of numerological significance to this, but today marks my one hundredth blog post and my third novel accepted by Del Rey!

I have been smiling so much about that last bit that people have begun to fear me. They swerve out of my path and refuse to make eye contact, frightened that I might be happy at them.

I'm incapable of turning down the wattage, however, because at this time last year I didn't even have a book deal yet (The deal happened on Sep. 25, 2009), and now—11 months later—Del Rey has accepted HOUNDED, HEXED, and HAMMERED!

And starting about eight months from now—April 26, 2011—people will finally get to read my books! The trick, I am told, is to make them aware of my existence between now and then. I hope I can manage somehow.

My release schedule—April, May, and June of next year—means readers will get to sink their mental teeth deep into the series right away. It also means I'm in a really weird place right now...the sort of place they never tell you about, and by they I mean all those people who write about the writing life...you know: writers. I've written three urban fantasies, but I'm still a few months away from having a cover or early reviews or any of those other shiny things writers like to gush about. And don't get me wrong—I'm going to gush about my cover(s) and my (hopefully kind) early reviews, etc.—but in the meantime I'm a writer without any books to point at. It's a funky state of being; I should probably take notes.

The reason they never told me about this place is that there truly aren't many writers who have debuted in this fashion. From what I understand, I'm only the third to do so for Del Rey. I don't know if other publishers do this or not...so maybe I'm the third, period. Naomi Novik began her wonderful Temeraire series this way, and Stacia Kane just got finished releasing her first three Downside novels last month.

I've been told my blog posts will start poppin' up on Suvudu. Maybe it will even be this one—if so, hello there, nice person who clicked on a curious link! I should probably warn you that I will not simply be writing about my books. I tend to write about beer and miniature dwarfs and things of importance to nerds, and I do my best to post twice a week. I also like to interview other authors because I'm sort of a fanboy and easily impressed by smart people (my interview with Gail Carriger will go live a week from today, August 31). Browse through my archives to get a sense for it—I have 99 other posts here to enjoy! And if you say hi in the comments to let me know that you're now aware of my existence, I'll repay you by introducing you to Sigurd Kneecapper on Saturday—plus an awesome microbrew! :)

Playin' Taps for Sci-Fi

2010-08-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

All right, before we get down to what I have to say, this blog post about the withering of sci-fi is a must-read. Go there, absorb like a sponge, maybe do a shot (or two) for courage, and then come on back. :)

I lament the slow, painful death of sci-fi, but I must acknowledge my role in its decline. I haven't bought but maybe two or three sci-fi books in years—even though I used to devour them when I was younger and didn't get into fantasy until later.

I think the sentiments expressed in that blog post by both Mr. Allen and Mr. Martin are correct—we've become less optimistic about the future, we might be thinking things are getting worse instead of better, and so the already large suspension of disbelief we'd need for lots of sci-fi grows exponentially with our worries. It's like, "DUDE, not only can you not travel faster than light, but you can't seriously think there'd be a worldwide human government in the future when all we've been doing for the last few decades is splintering into ever-smaller tribal factions even as we're joining the ‘global village.’"

But I think there's even more to it than that: I can't keep up with the science anymore, and perhaps (??) that's a large part of the decline as well. We know so much more about the costs and realities of space travel than we did in the 50's and 60's, and so it's tougher on those grounds to suspend our disbelief for spacefaring shenanigans. If I'm reading about this nanotech idea or that idea for an FTL drive, part of me will think it's cool and part of me will think, "this idea will be completely exploded in ten years."

The last sci-fi I was really into was cyberpunk. The dystopian futures laid out so clearly in William Gibson's novels and Stephenson's Snow Crash now seem quite spookily prescient: we have multinational corporations running things and an urban planet on the way where everyone is plugged into the net. Hmm. Maybe that's why I stopped; the fiction is becoming reality, and I read fiction to get away from reality.

I think the reason fantasy has become ascendant—besides fulfilling the need for escape—is that it's filling another need: the need to examine social structures from a safe distance and figure out where we went wrong. Sci-fi often looks at alternate social structures that we can't possibly hope to achieve anytime soon; these days the social issues raised in fantasy allow us to wonder if there's some way to make things better now, to hell with the future on other planets. The struggles that urban fantasy heroes face, in particular, permit us to say "Okay, I know modern life can be shit, but look at what THAT guy/girl has to deal with on top of everything else," and we feel a bit better. It's nice to think that someone can deal with everything we deal with plus paranormal issues.

The sci-fi I'd like to read now is that which convincingly envisions a way through these times. I'd buy a book like that and read it over and over and buy copies for all my friends. I'd like to be optimistic again; I'd like to see a rebirth of sci-fi because it would mean that optimism is widely shared. Until then, I'll read and write fantasy.

Cover Update and a Public Appearance Thingy

2010-08-17T17:42:00.000-07:00

WELL!

Things are happening.

Though I can't share what I saw because it just wouldn't be fair, my editor sent me something that the cover artist is working on and it is jaw-droppingly cool! These days the cover artists often use photographic models on which to base their digital illustration (think Gail Carriger's books, see this cool video on how they made the cover for her third book), and so to get themselves ready for the photo shoot they'll construct whatever props and doodads they feel necessary for verisimilitude. What I got to see today was one of the props created for the shoot, and I cannot describe how awesome it is to see something I imagined come to life like that! I have been doing a happy dance for three hours and I think I've lost a couple pounds.

By the way, for a fun look at how urban fantasy covers have changed, check out this neat survey and this other article from Orbit books.

In other news, I'm going to be making my first "public appearance," which is such a douche-y phrase that I can't say it without laughing. But nevertheless, here it is: I've been asked to speak at a Writer's Workshop on Saturday, October 9 at the East-West Exchange on 100 N. Tonto Rd. in Payson, AZ, from 1-3 pm. It's sort of a whirlwind tour of getting published for aspiring authors, though of course I'm going to be focusing a bit on urban fantasy in particular. Come on by if you can make it, they have a great little coffee bar in there (it's an indie bookstore) and I'll hang out for a while.

The program will include how I discovered a niche in the market and rushed to fill it, followed by what I hope is a mildly inspirational story of how an unknown schmoe with zero connections in the industry got a three-book deal with a major publisher. I'll walk people through the process, from market analysis to writing the book to sending out queries and landing an agent, and then discuss what I feel are some demands in the fantasy market (both urban and epic) that aren't currently being supplied. There will be a Q & A afterward so that you can stump me.

And someday, when I can, I'll post REAL COVER ART and I cannot wait!

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #4

2010-08-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

I was really hoping I could get hold of the Smoked Porter from Alaskan Brewing Company for this one, since blogging/writing buddy Hillary Jacques has spoken so highly of its divinity. I journeyed for many leagues all the way out to this specialty beverage establishment only to find out that they had everything from Alaskan except the Smoked Porter. Color me crushed.

But I have to tell you, I think I might have found something equally divine. It might be my new favorite.

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #4

Behold: Oberon Ale from Bell's Brewery in Comstock, Michigan, in a glass from the Beaver Street Brewery in Flagstaff, Arizona; a turkey sandwich on a poppyseed roll with kettle chips on the side; and a dwarf ready to throw his own personal kegger. (Better pictures of him below)

I had to buy the Oberon Ale, because one of the main characters in my series is named Oberon. He's a doggie—an Irish wolfhound, to be exact. He kind of looks like this:

If you're wondering how a main character can be a dog, you'll have to wait a bit to find out. I promise you, however, that it's nothing like those execrable children's movies where animals talk. Oberon is a constant source of joy to me as a character, so when I saw a beer with the same name it became a moral imperative to see whether it might also be a source of joy.

It is, my friends, it is. It's bottle-conditioned, so you should pour it in a glass to enjoy it properly. As a summer ale, I can't think of when I've tasted a finer one. It's smooth and refreshing and I can't believe I was lucky enough to run across it. I mean...look at this distribution map. How messed up is that? Midwest, south...and Arizona. That seems really random to me, but I'm grateful, because it suits me perfectly.

The Beaver Street Brewery in Flagstaff is my favorite brew pub so far. I'm not saying it's the best ever, because there's always a chance I'll run across a better one in my travels, but so far it's the best I've found. And it's right across the street from Macy's European Coffee House, which is my favorite coffee joint EVAH.

And now let's take a closer look at that miniature dwarf:

This dude is ready to party. He's got a giant stein o' suds, plenty of refills ready to go on his shoulder, and he's even shaved his upper lip clean because it's just going to get covered in beer foam anyway. Oh, and in case you think this guy's a pushover, check out the side view:

He's got an AXE slung back there out of sight, son, so don't mess! If you make him drop his keg to pull it out, he's not going to put it back without your blood on it!

I haven't given up on the Smoked Porter. Alaskan's website says it's available in several places in Arizona, so I'll hunt it down eventually.

Just finished a round of edits on Hammered and sent it back to my editor—she made some outstanding suggestions, as always—so I'm excited about the shape it's in and feeling good about life. Oberon probably has a little something to do with that too. :)

Upcoming Stuff

2010-08-10T17:02:00.000-07:00

Well, this is weird...I'm going to blog about stuff I'm not currently blogging about. It's not terribly brilliant as far as posts go, but school starts tomorrow and I must obsess about that for a bit. So here are some things to which we may all look forward:

1. On August 31 there will be the special treat of my latest 3:2 Interview with the amazing Gail Carriger, author of Soulless, Changeless, and the upcoming Blameless!

2. Sometime soon I might get to see some preliminary cover art for my books! I don't know when I'll get to share that with you all, probably deep into the fall sometime, but I have it on good authority that someone is working on it.

3. Also in the works for later is a full-on website—that definitely won't go live before I get my cover art, though. I'm planning on uploading some sound files of the foreign-language passages in my books, especially the Polish and German in HEXED and the Hebrew in HAMMERED—the Icelandic, too, if I can find someone to do it for me. And there will be pictures of my character sketches, early attempts at a map for Asgard, and other goodies.

4. Speaking of sound files, don't know if I've mentioned it before, but there will be unabridged audio versions of all three books from Brilliance. I cannot WAIT to hear who they get to do these books! Besides speaking English with the western American accent, he'll have to pull off passable versions of Irish, Tamil, Polish, Icelandic, and Russian accents as well, then actually speak several passages in Irish, Polish, German, Icelandic, Hebrew, and Russian like a native speaker. Whoever does it will probably hate me by the time he's through. But I will make it all better by soothing his sore vocal cords with beer.
5. Speaking of beer (because you should whenever you can), there are more Still Lifes with Dwarfs and Beer ahead. I think I may have found that Smoked Porter Hillary was telling me about, cannot wait to try it...but I have to wait until the weekend.
6. On October 9, if anybody can make it to Payson, Arizona, I'll be speaking at 10 am on genre fiction, how to break into the biz, that sort of thing. It's targeted toward aspiring writers and I'm excited that I might be able to help—because I was an aspiring writer too, until just recently. Don't have a venue quite yet, but I'll post it as soon as I know.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Punk Writing

2010-08-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to like punks a whole lot. But not this kind:

I'm talking about steampunks. Dieselpunks. Atompunks. Fiction that's set in an alternate-history, alternate-tech sort of world, populated by characters who don't shop at IKEA and The Gap. Lots of brass gadgets and clockwork. Dirigibles. Language from a time when people used to read outside of school.

And the aesthetic is just plain cool. Look at this steampunk computer somebody made:

That's a working computer, folks. If you want to see the details and more pictures, click here. A lot of steampunk fans are also Makers. Have you heard of them?

Maker culture is thriving: here's a link to Make magazine. Broadly speaking, they're people who reject pop consumerism and make something new out of found items. There's a strong DIY ethic and a premium placed on personal creativity. And in terms of design, they usually don't want to hide the way something works, like modern doodads; they'd rather see all the gears and gizmos and the wires and so on. Here's a link to a video of this year's Maker Faire to get a sense of what they like.

In terms of writing, the opportunities are vast. The market isn't glutted yet, demand is increasing, and there's so much that can be done. In terms of writing trends, I think there's still plenty of room to get in on the ground floor here. Granted, if you're trying to come up with a Sherlock Holmes clone, that might be a tough sell, but look at what else is out there and doing well. Boneshaker by Cherie Priest features a kid and his mom in 19th-century Seattle. Leviathan and the forthcoming Behemoth by Scott Westerfeld feature a couple of young'uns, too, and that's WWI-era stuff, qualifying it as dieselpunk (though there are significant biopunk aspects as well). The Windup Girl, by Paolo Bacigalupi, is a biopunk novel doing quite well now. And then there's Gail Carriger's Parasol Protectorate series, set in 19th-century London, which is definitely steampunk with a bit of urban fantasy and Jane Austen mashed in. (By the way, my next author interview is with Gail, and I'm very excited!)

I'm hoping inspiration will strike me soon for a punkish short story...or even a novel, heck, why not? I've started an epic fantasy and I've outlined the fourth book in my urban fantasy series, but it's never too late to start something else. Plenty of burners on the stove, right? Multitasking keeps the brain fresh and all that. Food for thought, anyway. :)

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #3

2010-08-01T15:09:00.000-07:00

Been out o' town for a few days, visiting Anaheim for school stuff. I got to geek out about fonts and play with InDesign and laugh at puns.

But I'm back now and working on a map for my epic. Luncheon comes around and here's what's laid out on the table:

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #3

Chili dogs with mustard and a fine brew called 90 Shilling Ale in a glass from the Carver Brewing Company in Durango, Colorado. All of which is guarded by a dwarf troll slayer, who is holding very graphic evidence of his troll slaying skills. Said troll looked at my beer the wrong way, see.
Here's a closeup of the dwarf troll slayer:

What amazes me most about this guy is how hairless his chest is when his chops and eyebrows are so epically gifted. I thought he'd have a happy trail down the center, at least. Coming in a close second is the fact that his left hand could probably engulf his entire head. And in third place is the fact that he'd be hard pressed to fit a kneecap under that grass skirt, much less thighs and calves and other goodies. How is this guy even ambulatory?

The answer is that it doesn't matter. He's a badass miniature dwarf troll slayer and that's all there is to it.

The 90 Shilling Ale is from the Odell Brewing Company in Fort Collins, Colorado. It's a Scottish ale that's been lightened up a trifle and it's remarkably smooth and flavorful. What's that beer that keeps bragging about its drinkability? Is it Budweiser? They're lying. Bud is overcarbonated, tasteless swill, and it's not even an American beer anymore. It's owned by the Dutch. If you want a drinkable American beer, try this 90 Shilling Ale—or almost any beer that doesn't have a national ad campaign. That's where all the flavor and drinkability is hiding. Still looking for that smoked porter that Hillary suggested to me in the comments from the last Dwarf and Beer post.

If you ever get a chance to visit Carver's in Durango, please do. It's kind of an unusual place because they're known as a brew pub, but they also do a brisk breakfast business with great coffee and baked goods. I haven't been there in a few years and I miss it. Here's what you do: hit Carver's in the morning for the coffee, get on the railroad for the trip to Silverton, then try out the beers when you get back in the afternoon. It's beautiful country up there.

Summer's almost over for me and I'll have to go back to work soon. Think I'll have to squeeze in a trip to Flagstaff before it's over, introduce you to the joys of Macy's European Coffee House.

The 3:2 Interview with Kelly Meding

2010-07-27T01:10:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the third 3:2 Interview, wherein I ask a spiffy author three questions about writing and two others that hopefully allow us to get to know her better as a person. (I also cheat shamelessly and work in several questions whenever I can, so you’re really getting more than five questions here.)

Today I’m very excited to have Kelly Meding with us, author of Three Days to Dead. Readers were hooked from the moment Evy Stone woke up in a morgue in someone else’s body, with only three days to figure out how she died—and why she came back. The second book in the Dreg City series, As Lie the Dead, is out today and you can snag it at your favorite bookstore or online here.

Writer’s Grove: Thanks for joining us, Kelly. I’ve recently heard that you’re going to write two more Dreg City books after As Lie the Dead, so that’s outstanding news for your fans (!!!), but I’ve also heard you have another deal for a completely different series. Could you tell us something about that, what's in store for Evy going forward, and maybe how you handle the multitasking between writing two series (possibly more if you’re hiding them), plus blogging, reading, and networking on top of your day job?

KM: Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your interview series! I'm so glad to be here.

I'll tackle the Evy part of your question first. If you thought she had a lot going on in THREE DAYS TO DEAD…well, to rely on an old cliché, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Evy's going to go through the wringer, both emotionally and physically, over the next few books, but don't fear! She will come out a much stronger, more well-rounded person for the experiences. There's a lot of truth in the saying "that which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

In As Lie the Dead, Evy has to deal with the consequences of decisions made and actions taken in the first book (er, spoilers!)—the destruction of the Owlkins, her new not-dead status with the Triads, and her attraction to Wyatt. Now that her clock has stopped counting down the hours, she has to face the complications of life in the body of Chalice Frost, and her part in the death of Alex Forrester. Plus murder, betrayal, and magical hijinx. You know, the usual. Books Three and Four…well, I can't say much about them yet. But I'm very excited to be able to continue Evy's story, flesh out the cast of supporting characters, and expand on the world of Dreg City.

The new deal you mentioned is with Pocket Books, and it's for a modern superhero story. I have loved superheroes since I was a child, and I especially love team stories. "The New Teen Titans" of the 1980's is my very favorite title. But one of the things that is rarely addressed in either comics, shows or movies, is the collateral damage caused by heroes and villains fighting each other. I wanted to write something where those hero/villain battles nearly destroyed the world (and each other), and the effect that collateral damage (ruined cities, a fearful public) would have on a new generation of heroes. The first book in the series, WARDEN'S TRANCE, could be out as early as Summer 2011. I'm beyond thrilled to have sold this series and to be working with Pocket.

As for multitasking, I'm very lucky in that my day job is part-time, usually around 20 hours a week. It gives me quite a lot of freedom to keep up with my other book-related responsibilities, such as writing, blogging, reading, and interacting with fans, as well as my family and social life. When I was working a full-time job, my free time was more limited, but that's when you make sacrifices—I'll write 1,000 words instead of playing online poker for an hour; I'll write this blog post instead of watching this movie. It's important, when time is limited, to prioritize. And I'd be lost without my To Do list—it makes sure things get done.

WG: Though you probably don’t have the time to keep up with comics these days, did you read comic books when you were wee? What titles/heroes/heroines did you particularly enjoy, and why? Any graphic novels that make you purr? (I mean that in the figurative sense, but heck, if any of them literally make you purr, we probably need to know where we can get a copy.)

KM: As I mentioned above, "The New Teen Titans" (Wolfman/Perez) is my favorite. I stumbled into it accidentally when I was eleven, because I found an issue with Robin on the cover. I had no idea Robin had been part of anything besides Batman, so I was intrigued. I read it, then began a several-year hunt to find every issue I could (this was before eBay, when the internet was still very, very young, so I had to actually find used comic sellers and hunt in person). I love team stories and large casts (books, movies, whatever), and one of my favorite themes in fiction is "the family you make." And the Titans were very much a family. Plus they were young! The idea of eighteen year-old superheroes was a fabulous novelty to a tween.

For graphic novels, I absolutely adore Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" and "Batman: Year One," Joss Whedon's "Fray," Alan Moore's "Saga of the Swamp Thing" and "Watchmen." I've also picked up the first two compilations of "Fables" and want to get my hands on "Runaways" very soon.

WG: Describe the ideal writing situation for you. Pajamas? Music? Beer? Music about pajamas and beer? Do you set goals for yourself when you sit down to write in terms of word count, or finishing a scene, or do you simply sit and say, “Well, let’s see what happens?” Do you think aspiring writers should adhere to a schedule or routine of some sort?

KM: While I'm definitely a beer gal, I don't like to mix it with writing. Or any alcohol with writing. I prefer to be clear-minded and alert. Now, I do mix alcohol with brainstorming sessions—I got an entire novel out of a pitcher of sangria once.

I don't know that I have an ideal writing situation. I can write almost anywhere, in most circumstances. But there's nothing quite as nice as spending a day in my pajamas, writing a fun, exciting chapter, with coffee and/or chocolate within easy reach. The goals that I set for myself tend to be weekly goals. I think setting a daily word count can be detrimental for me, because if something unexpected happens and I can't make my count, I feel like I've failed. But giving myself a word count to shoot for by the end of seven days is more realistic. Some days I may not be able to write; other days I have hours on end to get it done.

And yes, I do think setting goals is very important for aspiring writers. It's all part of learning discipline and Butt-In-Chair techniques. Everyone writes at a different pace, and in different methods (editing as you go versus waiting until the draft is done), but setting word count goals is a must. Even if it's as low as 300 words a day. If you hit 1000 words, that's great! If you only manage 250, you're close! But set a realistic goal and aim for it.
WG: OK, so you're a beer gal. What about coffee and tea? Will you share your favorites of each?

KG: Coffee. Mmmm....cofffee wakes me up in the morning and sometimes puts me to sleep at night (yes, I can drink coffee and go to sleep two hours later--I am a freak of nature). I generally prefer brewed coffee to fancier lattes or milky drinks (but I won't turn one down if you put it in front of me). One of my favorite coffees is Harry & David's Chocolate Cherry beans. So amazing when freshly ground and brewed up, with a dash of Hazelnut creamer. I'm also recently in love with a local convenience store's Chocolate Mint Iced Coffee. It tastes just like a Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint (although I have serious doubts about actual coffee content).
Tea. For hot tea, I'm pretty boring and will occasionally dip into a good ole cup of Lipton with milk and sugar (I know, tea enthusiasts will hate me now). I do like bottled tea, though. Any sort of lemon-free sweet tea. Snapple has a yummy Nectarine White Tea that's So Good. Nestea's Red Tea Pomegranate Passion Fruit is also super-yummy. I could drink that stuff by the gallon (and used to until the soda machine at work switched from Coke to Pepsi).

WG: There are rumblings out there on the Internet(s) that perhaps the market for urban fantasies featuring vampires is a bit glutted at the moment—the idea being that Twilight skewed the market in one direction and now editors are flooded with knockoffs and would rather see something else. Might this be true? Where do you think the urban fantasy genre is headed? How does one anticipate the market and come up with something fresh?

KM: I think it's very true. Vampire books are hard sells, unless you have something very unique in your hands. Plus there are so many long-running, best-selling vampire series out there that in order to compete and win over those fans, you have to offer something new. Of course, there are always readers who will pick up anything with vampires in it, and that's awesome! But as the UF genre continues to grow, and more new authors are picked up every year, readers are given more and more to choose from, which means becoming more selective with their time and dollars.

The thing I love most about UF is that there is still so much ground to cover. Look at some of the books coming out this summer that feature selkies, furies, ghosts, and djinn. There is a wealth of lesser-known creatures to explore from dozens of different cultures and myths. I'm looking forward to reading what my fellow authors have to offer, as well as the chance to explore some of them myself.

Honestly, I think anticipating the market is impossible. Even editors can't be sure what's going to be the next bestseller, or the next hot creature. Look at all of the literary mash-ups coming out. The first one or two sold really, really well, but some of the online chatter I've seen is that people are already getting tired of them. Some folks are saying angels are next big thing. The best advice I usually see is "write the book you'd want to read." Don't write toward trends, don't try to write what you think will be popular. What's hot now might not be what readers want in two years.

WG: Kelly, thanks so much for hanging out with us! Best of luck with As Lie the Dead and your new series!

Thanks so much! Thank you for having me and letting me babble for a while!

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #2

2010-07-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

OK, my camera is back and now I can take a half-decent picture with the kind of focus I'd like. Today my miniature dwarf is guarding my sausage pizza and frosty beer with a brace of black-powder pistols:

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #2

If anyone touches my pizza, that dwarf thunderer will pop a very tiny cap in his/her ass.

The beer is Longboard Lager from the Kona Brewing Company in Hawaii. The glass is from Phantom Canyon Brewing Company in Colorado Springs. The dwarf is Einar Ólafson from Nidavellir (That's the Nordic realm of the dwarfs. If my Icelandic is correct, that's pronounced NIH-dah-VET-lir, because a double l gives you a ttl sound).

You may not be able to tell from the picture above how serious Einar is about protecting my luncheon. So here's a closeup or two:

Now you can clearly see that Einar is really with it. Look at the care and feeding of that beard. It's epic! Nothing is going to get by a dude who can keep track of all that facial hair.

Whoa! Those are the eyes of a killer, my friends. His pistol grips are capped with the skulls of wee animals that tried to snarf one of my Pop Tarts. He has sent two and twenty ruffians to the grave using only one and twenty shots.

It's a good day. Besides working on my miniature dwarfs, I've squeezed out the first chapter of an epic and I have an excellent interview with Kelly Meding to look forward to on Tuesday, the third installment of my 3:2 Interview series. Make sure you swing by on Tuesday to check it out!

Market Meta and Blurbage

2010-07-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

I just read a really interesting blog post over at the BN SciFi and Fantasy Blog about why Nicole Peeler is so freakin' cool. Even if you're not a fan of her books—and I can't imagine why you wouldn't be—it's a good read for what it says about the state of the urban fantasy market (or the paranormal fantasy market, or whatever label you wish to use for the fantasy books that don't involve stew and orphans saving the world from a dark lord).

I'd like to highlight a bit from his blog post about the subcategories in the market:

There’s hardboiled paranormal fantasy (Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files, Kat Richardson’s Greywalker saga), erotic paranormal fantasy (Hamilton’s Anita Blake), comedic paranormal fantasy (Mark Henry’s Amanda Feral novels, Mario Acevedo’s Felix Gomez saga), literary paranormal fantasy (Skyler White’s and Falling, Fly), paranormal romance (Christine Feehan’s Dark novels) etc.

But the biggest—and most commercially successful—subcategory is arguably the lighthearted contemporary urban fantasy, usually set in an alternate history setting like Kim Harrison’s Rachel Morgan series, the Southern Vampire sequence by Charlaine Harris, Patricia Briggs’s Mercy Thompson saga, etc.

I'm glad I didn't worry about subcategories when writing my books. I know they're not erotic paranormal fantasy, nor are they paranormal romance, and I wouldn't dream of writing literary paranormal fantasy (because I'm not sure what that is). But my books might be a little bit of the remaining three subcategories mentioned. I'm wondering what's the line separating comedic paranormal fantasy from lighthearted contemporary urban fantasy—any ideas? Heck, I just pitched my books as an urban fantasy series and left it at that. It will be interesting to see how they get classified once they're published—or maybe Del Rey's marketing department will slap a label on them when they send out the Advance Reader Copies to see if it sticks.

But while we're all waiting...I've received a fantastic blurb from Ms. Peeler for Hounded! Squee! She liked it!

“Hearne breathes new life into old myths, creating a world both eerily familiar and startlingly original. I couldn't read fast enough...Hounded, indeed!” —Nicole Peeler

Thanks, Nicole! :)

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #1

2010-07-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so in an earlier post I firmly established my Nerd Cred. Follow me now I descend fully into madness, kind of like those guys who went exploring the House of Leaves.

See, my friend Alan got me started painting miniatures. And for some reason, the idea of painting miniature dwarfs really tickles my sense of redundancy.

I'm painting a dwarf warband to play a game called Mordheim, which is a skirmish-level version of Warhammer where you can start out with six or seven dudes and build up to maybe 15. And when I'm not playing Mordheim (which is most of the time, I swear), then I can just chuckle at the fact that I have a collection of miniature dwarfs.

Alan is a Golden Demon award winner, which means he paints miniatures so well people send him fan mail and pay him to paint their miniatures for them. When Alan decides to paint dwarfs, they look like they're going to hack you up if you don't give them a keg of ale right now. (By the way, that's a dwarf king being carried on top of a shield by two minion dwarfs. I explain that because I originally thought this was a dwarf mother protecting her children.) Anyway, my dwarfs ain't that cool. But they're ready to find some treasure in Mordheim, by golly. Left to right, you'll see my Engineer, one of my Thunderers, and a Troll Slayer.

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #1

You might notice that my dwarfs are a touch out of focus; that the beer, in fact, seems to be far more central to the composition. I could not gainsay you. But I am going to make an excuse: I took this with my cell phone, and its depth of focus sucks just a wee bit. My real camera is in New York and I'm in Arizona, so until we are reunited, I must make do with what I can. Still, there is much to appreciate here:

1. The beer is Mothership Wit by the New Belgium Brewing Company. The pint glass is from The Pike Brewing Company in Seattle, an underground establishment I enjoyed visiting a few years ago.

2. The color of the beer and the color of the Thunderer's beard are remarkably similar. It's almost like I planned it that way.

3. The modeling paints have excellent names, like Vomit Brown and Graveyard Earth.

4. You can look forward to more of these Still Lifes because I have plenty of dwarfs yet to paint, and it's not like I'm going to stop liking beer tomorrow. :)

Help is Out There

2010-07-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

...if you're writing a query. There's two kinds of help readily available on the Internet(s): what to do and what not to do. A couple of "what not to do" links:

First, an amusing collection of query fails from an agent in Slush Pile Hell. Go back and read some of the archives, too, they're seriously funny. But also kinda sad...they're all real.

Second, here's some recent advice from agent Jessica Faust about queries: Query Don'ts. Gotta thank @GailCarriger for directing me to it via Twitter.

Sticking with Ms. Faust, here's her deconstruction of a successful query letter for a mystery novel.

Then, I highly recommend joining the Absolute Write Water Cooler. Lots of published and soon-to-be-published writers there, and it's a very helpful community. They have a Share Your Work forum which is behind a password wall, so that the work doesn't show up on search engines. Inside, there's a lovely room called Query Letter Hell where you can post your query letter and get feedback. It can be brutal but it's helpful—you'll get a response and personal attention that agents and editors never have the time to give. There are many success stories in there, too—writers who got partial and full requests from agents and representation as well. Hope it helps.

Market Analysis: An Anecdote

2010-07-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder where writing fads come from...and then I look at the bestseller lists and go, oh yeah. All the people writing vampire books are looking at the Twilight series and the success of the Sookie Stackhouse novels and saying, I want a piece of that. And it's tough to blame 'em for wanting a slice of bestselling pie. (If I'm fortunate enough to be served up a plate, I won't say no; I'll ask for whipped cream.)

But here's the problem with writing according to fads or the market: what's popular now won't necessarily be popular a year or two from now, which is what you have to be thinking about if you're trying to anticipate the market. It takes a year for a publisher to get a fiction book onto the shelves—ten months if they rush it, nine if nobody sleeps. And before that, you have to actually write the book and get an agent, and said agent has to get you your deal. (Unless you're going to go the slush pile route, in which case you can add on another year to eternity.) So let's keep the math simple and say for the sake of argument, if you're trying to anticipate things, that you need to predict what editors will want to buy a year from now if you're writing your book. They, in turn, are gambling that your book will be popular the year afterward. If you write something derivative of today's market, thinking it's hot, by the time somebody has to make a decision, they'll be looking at your book like the hundredth peanut butter and jelly sandwich they've had in as many days. They're not going to be excited.

And so you must look at what's out there in the genre you wish to write—market awareness is good—and then write something new enough to stand out. Then, more importantly, decide if what you're writing is something you'd actually want to read. If you read a lot (an excellent idea), then you will pick up on the tropes of a certain genre and maybe, after a while, figure out what's missing. And if you want to read what's missing and write what's missing, then you might have landed on top of a Great Idea.

I don't think I'm a brilliant market analyst, but back in 2008 I noticed something missing from the urban fantasy market: dudes. Not only dudes as protagonists, but dudes as writers. There weren't many of either. The market was dominated by women writing about women, and the men in such tales were primarily romantic interests (all of which is fine, but as a reader dude I wanted more broken bones and fewer broken hearts). So I thought, hey, maybe there's an opportunity here. Would I like writing urban fantasy? I'd never tried it. But there was this webcomic idea I was working on, tremendously fun for me to imagine and write but extremely difficult to illustrate, that perhaps could be adapted...so I started toying with it. And once I found a groove, the writing went extremely fast—and that was before I added Mountain Dew.

"I'm a dude! I'm writing about a dude! This is great! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!" It was kind of like that, except twice as nerdy as you're imagining. But it wasn't simply reveling in my dudehood: I was also steering away from vampires, werewolves, demons, half-faeries and half anything for my main character. The shelves were already full of those. They're good stories—I devour them!—but the authors writing them were well established and I didn't have anything new to say there. My webcomic, though, was about a Druid. A quick check of the shelves at Borders and Barnes & Noble revealed that there were zero urban fantasies featuring a Druid in the title role. Heck, I couldn't find a Druid in a supporting role. Morgan Llewelyn wrote a book called Druids in 1993, but that was about historical Druids, not urban ones. So there you go—I figured out the market was missing urban Druid dudes, and I really, really wanted to write about one.

There's always a risk in doing something new, because if a story is too weird, agents and editors won't know how to market it. But the risk in following a fad is that when your manuscript arrives on an agent's or editor's desk, it will be the twentieth gnarly vampire romance they've seen that day. Would you rather they say, "WTF?" or "Not another one"? I'll take the WTF every time. (Which may come back to haunt me: I can see the reviews now.) But I got lucky: I found an agent who liked my Druid, and then my agent found a good number of editors who liked him, too—enough that I got the insane luxury of choosing my (extremely awesome) publisher, Del Rey.

Part of what's exciting about urban fantasy is that there's SO MUCH room for new ideas and twists—so the preponderance of the same few creatures appearing over and over is puzzling. I'm waiting for the story about the short supermarket clerk—often mistaken for a dwarf—who doesn't realize he's half gnome, and the emerald ring from his unknown father gives him complete control over cats if he wears it on his index finger...or something. Gnomes are always background critters, but they're begging to be fleshed out as a species. Somebody needs to write a gnome character I can care about. And what if trolls are only stupid and violent because of their militant political leadership and a poor education system? A visionary troll—self-taught through the Internet(s)—could arise and transform her culture if only she can survive the malignant attentions of the entrenched Club and Loincloth merchants who would keep them all lurking under bridges forever. Heh! You get the idea. My unsolicited advice is to always write what you like—but try to like something fresh in hopes that the market will be ready for it.

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #6

2010-07-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

These are the books I'm either currently reading or going to read very, very soon, attractively couched with red grapes, black plums, strawberries, and blackberries. (By the way, it's mighty tough to be a writer if you don't read. Words are brain calories, and everyone should be on a 30,000 word-per-day diet—but it's quite all right if you consume more.)

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #6

Up in front you have Tracking the Tempest by Nicole Peeler and The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett; in the back is Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor, and The Ruling Sea by Robert V.S. Redick.

Just about finished with Nicole's book, and it's every bit as funny as she is. If you missed my interview with her, click on the 3:2 Interview tag in the labels to the right of the blog—it's the first one.

My brother-in-law gave me about five of Terry Pratchett's books, telling me that my work was reminiscent in some of its humor to Mr. Pratchett's. He recommended that I start with The Wee Free Men, but I stubbornly did not, since I like to read series from the beginning. After I mentioned this to my editor, she said she was also handed The Wee Free Men (by Betsy Mitchell, no less) as an introduction to Pratchett's body o' litrachur. Clearly, I should not have begun at the beginning. Looking forward to it.

I'm going to read Who Fears Death because Patrick Rothfuss told me to. Plus, it's orange.

I picked up The Ruling Sea from Del Rey's Vault o' Treasures when I visited NYC. So far all I've done is geek out over the map, but I'm going to dive back into the adventures of Pazel Pathkendle soon.

Peace—

"The Castle beckons, Tom..."

2010-07-09T20:02:00.000-07:00

That's one of my favorite lines from Four Weddings and a Funeral (which is a hilarious British comedy if you've never had the pleasure), and I thought of it as we went to dine at Beardslee Castle near Little Falls, NY. This place was built in 1860 and now it's an unusual restaurant and beautiful spot for folks to get married. It's a small castle, but it has a cheerful dungeon, so that's worth the trip right there.

This blog will be picture heavy...I took plenty of them, some in low light, so please forgive the quality, get a taste of the ambience, and go visit yourself if you ever get the chance.

Here's the entrance covered in pretty growing things:

Inside there are all these lovely rooms with their own fireplaces, holding about three to four tables each. Some of them have great views of the grounds outside, too:

I confess to having a weakness for beautiful bookshelves filled with old books. They had several of them! The staircase to the left leads down to the dungeon:

Examining the books more closely, I found some really ancient pulp fiction in there. I picked out a burgundy one called His Evil Eye because, well...it was entitled His Evil Eye. Mwah-ha-ha-ha! I took a picture of the title page just to appreciate the old font, the design, and the alternate title. (The main title was far superior. I never would have picked up a book called Sybil's Trials.) The copyright for this book is 1891. *pause to appreciate the history of this tome* And it's just hanging out there in the castle for any old schmuck to pick up and photograph. *boggle* By the way, I think they shafted the author, a Mr. Harris Irving Hancock: the copyright is held by the J.S. Olgivie Publishing Company, not the writer! See, my friends? This is why authors need agents.

Head down the stairs to the dungeon and you'll find a fabulously stocked bar underneath all that stone. Here's a peek through the entrance...obviously there's much more to be seen once you're through the wee entrance tunnel.

They also have several cells that have been refurbished to house intimate dining experiences. Unfortunately (or fabulously, depending on how excited you are by embalming), some of the cells are still occupied by their former inhabitants. This mummy is named Steve (not his real name). No one knows who he really was, how he died, or why his final resting place is an upstate New York dungeon. Keen scientific minds have declared that he died sometime in the past.

They have like 90 beers and wines available in the Dungeon Pub, so if you're going to spend time in a dungeon, this is probably the best one you could possibly choose. They had a microbrew on draught out of Vermont called Magic Hat #9. It was extremely tasty, but of course I can't describe a taste adequately in words. That's as pointless as giving you a link to the brewery's site or taking a picture of the tap in the dungeon:

After I'd explored a bit, we got around to eating. We started with a portobello mushroom cap stuffed with ratatouille and covered in mozzarella and oil. Divinity.

Everything was good but I didn't take the best pictures of all the dishes, so I'm only going to include a couple. Their menu, by the way, rotates a bit during the seasons, so what you see on their website might not actually be on the printed menu when you get there. This dish is a center cut boneless pork loin with a strawberry rhubarb compote and honey glazed pecans. Yep, that's a wild rice pilaf on the side. Daaaaang.

I had the sirloin steak with grilled red onions and portobello mushrooms, accompanied by rosemary potatoes. De-lish.

The salads were actually green—no iceberg lettuce at all. The desserts were crafted in a such a way as to plop into the pleasure center of your brain and stretch luxuriously while making satisfied cat noises. Many people enjoyed the Death By Chocolate—but, curiously, nobody died.

It was a great experience, and not just for the food. It's one of those rare, beautiful places with good beer and friendly mummies in the dungeon. Those are so hard to find. Up next, another Still Life With Fantasy and Fruit!

Glimmerglass & Cooperstown

2010-07-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Today's my last day in NY. Heading back to the dry heat tomorrow and trees with many thorns instead of leaves.

But I visited a couple of cool breweries down near Cooperstown I wanted to talk about for a bit. One is called Ommegang, and they have a beer there called Three Philosopher's Ale that they sell for $3.50 a bottle. Yeah, that's a 12-oz. bottle. They age it in a cellar like wine. It's unusual stuff—might not be for everyone—but I know that some people find it to be divine, and I give it a free cameo appearance in Hammered in a scene featuring Atticus, Gunnar, and Leif. You can find Ommegang's beers in some stores back east and finer liquor establishments all over. The tour of the brewery is cool and the grounds are immaculate. They have a really large grassy area behind the brewery suitable for concerts, so they occasionally have concerts there since they're cool like that.

That's my cute kid and my sister in-law around the Ommegang fire pit. The tree-lined grassy area extends (quite extensively, natch) to both the left and right of this picture. Very pretty.

We also visited another brewery in the area called Cooperstown Brewing, which is actually located in nearby Milford. Here are their beers, from light to dark:

I like the Nine Man Ale, a very clean pilsner. That Back Yard IPA is kind of neat because they grow the hops to finish it right on the property. Here's their hop vines:

Yesterday we went to Glimmerglass State Park, which is really Otsego Lake that James Fenimore Cooper called "Glimmerglass" in his books. It's a glacial lake fed by springs beneath the surface. When you go swimming in there you can sort of feel where the springs are, because there are colder patches of water. The swimming area is lovely and so are the grounds around the lake, with lots of benches and trails and remarkably friendly trees.

Yeah, I'm going to be leaving all that and return to this:

That's a creosote bush, by the way, for those of you who have never seen one before. They're the dominant desert scrub, and they give the whole valley its distinctive smell when it rains. I happen to love the smell, but I know some people don't dig it. These things can grow forever, cloning themselves. There's one that's dang near 12,000 years old. Anyway, they can grow pretty close together at times and they provide quite a bit of shelter to plenty of desert animals. I mention them a couple of times in Hounded, so I thought I'd provide the picture here to aid the imagination. :)

Working through my TBR pile and fiddling around with outlines for book four and an epic fantasy trilogy while I wait for my editors to take a look at Hammered. Life is good.

Rhode Island cuisine

2010-07-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

Besides NY, I have some in-laws living in Rhode Island. My wife is originally from there, so we go back to visit during the summers, and that's where I am right now. They have a couple of culinary adventures in RI that have to be sampled to be believed, and I make a point of renewing my acquaintance with them whenever I'm in the neighborhood.

The first is Del's lemonade, which is frozen lemonade unlike any other. This isn't a snow-cone with lemon flavor. It's made with lemons, filtered water and sugar, and the consistency of the ice is unlike any other slush I've had—very fine stuff with lemon bits in it. It's a white slush—they don't add artificial colors to it to make it yellow—and the flavor is subtle and natural. And yummy. Divinely so. Best frozen drink EVAH.

They're in fourteen states now, not just Rhode Island. You can check out their website here, but this is the place I go to in Lincoln:

The other Rhode Island gastronomical adventure ride is the New York System Wiener. The locals will call them "gaggers," but if you're going to pronounce that like a local you have to forget about the r and pronounce it "gaggahs." A New York System Wiener is a long tube of Grade C or D meat (mmm!!) unceremoniously chopped into five-inch lengths, slapped into a bun and dressed with chili sauce, mustard, onions, and celery salt. Here's what they look like:

There's a wiener buried underneath all that sauce, I swear it. Now, they're sorta tiny, and some people cram the whole thing in their mouth at once (hence the term "gaggers") so you have to buy yourself three or more. The wiener places make a bunch of them at a time, but how they make them is amusing (or revolting, depending on your point of view). See, they stack 'em up on a dude's arm to slather 'em with chili and onions and so on:

So really one of the unlisted ingredients in a NY System Wiener is Arm Sauce. If you go into one of the big joints you'll find them using a prophylactic arm sleeve now for public safety, but where's the charm in that? To truly appreciate this cuisine you need the wild-card flavor of a dude's hairy forearm, and a lot of the smaller places still do it this way when they think the health inspector's not looking. Consequently, the tiny shops serve the best wieners. Heh! So if you ever make it up/down to Rhode Island, latch onto a local like a lamprey (See Fig. 1) and have them take you to a Del's stand and a small wiener place where they make the wieners the old-fashioned manly way. It's a good time.

Figure 1: Lamprey Love

Hope everyone had a swell holiday weekend. Peace.

Squee! My meetings in NYC!

2010-07-01T22:48:00.000-07:00

So: about a year after my agent picked me up out of his slush pile, I finally got to meet him! My wife and I met Evan for noodles at Soba Nippon under the watchful eye of an attentive waitress who wasn't afraid to instruct us how to eat. Evan was "doing it wrong," I guess, and after placing a mystery liquid down on the table and leaving, she came back and poured it into his bowl for him and mixed it around so that he'd enjoy it properly. I found this both highly amusing and very sweet of her to be so concerned with Evan's gustatory delight. Besides trading personal stories, we spoke about my current series and how it was going and also spitballed ideas for an epic that I want to rework down the road.

Apart from being an incredible agent, Evan is almost unspeakably cool. He knows a lot about New York and where to go eat before you see a show. He rattled off about twelve places (complete with directions) that we should try to visit. We forgot all of them and wound up eating at a rather disappointing (for me) Irish pub around the block from our hotel. Their fish and chips were out of the freezer, not fresh at all; it was nothing less than a complete abdication of their responsibility to provide good pub fare for their customers. But things got so much better after that!

We went to see American Idiot at the St. James Theatre and found it to be unexpectedly cathartic. I was already a fan of Green Day's American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown albums, but it's hard to see them as anything but genius after watching the Broadway production. It captures the youth of 2000-2008 perfectly—I know because I taught 'em. The lead eerily reminded me of a student who just graduated, in fact. The songs were connected together with a narrative and rearranged beautifully in some cases, and the wirework they did during the dream sequence of "Before the Lobotomy" was stunning. Highly recommended.

The next day, I got to meet my editors at Del Rey, Tricia and Mike, at the Random House building on Broadway! They have lobby security kind of like that scene in The Matrix where Neo and Trinity have to go rescue Morpheus. I meant to ask why, but I never did, so now I will guess: without the security, crazed would-be writers would overwhelm the editors like a horde of zombies with hand-delivered manuscripts. "Just look at this!" they'd say, waving a sheaf of papers in 12-point Courier, "It's a tender military sci-fi tale about a race of furry reptiles who fetishize automatic weapons! A plucky orphan fursnake and his mollusk friend must stop the Dark Lord Uzi from shooting up the planet with demon gunsauce!"

Once past security, everything was remarkably tranquil. We went almost all the way to the tippy-top of the building and stepped into scifi/fantasy nerd heaven. The 24th floor of Random House is currently enchanted to make everyone and everything appear as it would in an epic fantasy. They rotate the enchantment for variety: last week was steampunk week and they looked something like this, and next week everyone will look like Warhammer 40K Space Marines. Tricia and Mike were dressed in flowing robes of shimmering samite, just like I expected, while my wife and I wore homely tunics stained with grease and mustard. They greeted us courteously and then led me to a treasure vault guarded by two gnome paladins who grudgingly stepped aside once Mike uttered the password. The password changes every day, so I can safely tell you what Mike said: "Argyle is curiously in vogue at Tor headquarters."

The vault was a treasure indeed. It was full of Del Rey's books. Like, all of Tolkien. And Alan Dean Foster. Anne McCaffrey. Terry Brooks. Everything good, basically. And my editors said unto me, "You may take whatever you want, thou good and faithful author. One day soon, your books will be added to this sacred vault." I knelt and wept and showered them with gratitude, and they allowed me to kiss their rings.

Left, Tricia's Lucent Pearl Ring of Editorial Savvy. Right, Mike's Doomcloud Diamond Ring of Smiting.

I took a first edition of The Ruling Sea by Robert Redick and counted myself the most fortunate man on earth. Next, I met the editor of said book, Kaitlin Heller. She assaulted me with her champion, an ensorceled Silent Bob action figure. We sparred—silently—until I was forced to yield. I also met David Moench and editor Anne Groell. The latter was not clad in her customary editorial robes, but rather fully armored for battle. Her office was a field tent and she greeted me like so:

I gave her a hearty salutation and she bade me good day, though a warning flashed in her eyes. I bowed and scraped before I fled, and then I asked Tricia why yon editor kept such a grim aspect.

"Verily, she is besieged," quoth she.

"In what way? I saw no forces marshaled 'neath her tower."

"She must gird herself to meet the constant queries about the release date of Ser George R.R. Martin's book, A Dance of Dragons. She is the good ser's editor, you see."

(Note: To hell with Kevin Bacon, I now have two degrees of separation from George R.R. Martin! Yes, his next book was a topic of conversation over lunch, but no, I can't tell you anything about its release. Sorry. Anne was actually quite cheerful, though, if that tells you anything.)

I was then privileged to meet the High Priestess of Del Rey, Betsy Mitchell. She was gracious and kind and apparently in on all of The Plans for Lunch. I knew only one of The Plans, and Tricia knew only one of The Plans. Betsy and Mike were in on both of The Plans.

We left the 24th floor and looked like normal nerds as we walked to Hell's Kitchen—well, at least I did. I give you proof of my rampant nerdiness with a quoted snippet of our conversation:

Tricia: "This neighborhood is called Hell's Kitchen."
Me: "OH! You mean where Daredevil lives?"

Yes, I really said that. I embarrass myself all the time. There is no cure.

The Plan for Lunch I didn't know about was choosing this particular pub for our luncheon:

HOW COOL IS THAT! The perfect place to take a guy who's written a series of urban fantasies about a Druid. They had exposed brick walls inside with spiffy paintings hanging on them. Navigate past the bar to the back, and there's a wee patio outside with sunlight and growing things. We sat there and I ordered the fish and chips and a Smithwick's.

I learned several very important things on that patio: 1) I'll get to take a peek at some preliminary cover sketches in about a month! 2) Brooklyn is nicer than Manhattan. 3) Del Rey is still seeing tons of vampire stuff from agents (they only accept agented submissions). 4) Tie-ins with movies are difficult to write, edit, and negotiate. 5) Mike likes "dirty water" dogs. But don't judge!

Our food came, and since I've embarked on a lifetime quest to find the best fish and chips, I took a picture:

And now a brief review: These were extremely good. Druids' fish & chips get high marks for being fresh. The chips weren't frozen wedge fries like I had at the other place, but rather homemade, lightly fried tater chunks. The fish batter was also a fresh beer batter rather than the heavy breading you get on frozen stuff, and you can tell by its light golden color that this a delicate coating with new oil in the fryer. It was very good, some of the best I've had, and the salad on the side was an unexpected bonus. Now, is it the equal of Rula Bula's in Tempe? Not quite, but it's very close. Here's where it falls short: you can't really eat this with your hands; it's cooked and presented in such a way that you need to use a fork. If you tried to pick up the fish, it would fall apart on you. Also, the tartar sauce was a bit thin—I prefer it chunky—though it tasted just fine. These are minor quibbles, though: in terms of taste and freshness, this was a superior plate and I'd recommend it to anyone who finds themselves abruptly hungry in Hell's Kitchen as they search for Daredevil.

Okay, so after we ate and downed a couple of pints, it was time for The Plan that Tricia didn't know about. The Plan was simple: get Tricia to wear a luchador mask (that's a mask worn by Mexican wrestlers, if you are uninitiated in the joys of Lucha Libre) and document it photographically. We were careful not to execute The Plan until Tricia had consumed a couple of beers. It was the linchpin of our strategy, honestly. And it worked! Ladies and gentlemen, here is a picture of our Luchador Lunch:

Literary Luchadores at Druids in Hell's Kitchen

I'm the guy in the mask.

Besides being silly for the sheer fun of it, I do have A Point To Make with this blog. Occasionally one hears that editors & agents are mean people who are out to crush your dreams if you aren't well connected or "know someone." That is absolutely untrue. The number of people I knew in the publishing industry was zero before I sent out Hounded last year; I was (and still am) just a random dude who writes when he's home from his day job. Now I finally "know someone," and it's funny how they don't look anything like dream crushers. They are spectacular people who have action figures in their offices and hurl marshmallows at each other with miniature catapults (no lie) after they've read their thirteenth emo vampire query of the day. And they're only too happy to make your dream come true if you write a book they want to read.

Mucho peace and luchadores (they are not mutually exclusive); I'll post some more stuff from upstate NY in a few days.

The 3:2 Interview with Nicole Peeler

2010-06-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

I’m very pleased to bring you the second 3:2 Interview with a spiffy author, wherein I ask three questions about the author's current work, and two somewhat saucy questions in an attempt to get to know them better.

Today I’m grateful to Nicole Peeler for stopping by to metaphorically clink a beer bottle with us and shoot the breeze. Nicole is the author of the Jane True series, the second installment of which, Tracking the Tempest, is being released today. She’s under contract for six books with Orbit, so we’ll get to see plenty more of Nicole’s half-selkie heroine.

Writer’s Grove: One of the things I enjoy about your series is that Jane isn’t the typical asskicking urban fantasy heroine—the sort we always see dressed in black leather and holding something sharp and shiny. You’ve created something unusual within the genre here—even your covers set you apart from the crowd—and I’m wondering if that was an intentional act or something of a happy accident. What was behind your thinking in creating Jane? Walk us through your character creation process, if you will.

Nicole Peeler: I was inspired to write Tempest Rising by reading Dead as a Doornail, by Charlaine Harris. The idea of a heroine that wasn't kickass blew my mind, and I thought, "I could write a character like that." I'm too self deprecating to write a typical heroine, or even a typical anti-heroine. But Sookie was human-woman strong, and that was very inspiring to me. From that inspiration, I put together a bunch of my former and current interests, combined with what I "needed" for a character like Jane. I had Jane's essence first: the type of woman she'd be. Then, I started working on how to supe her up. I pretty instantly hit on selkies, but then I tweaked it by making her one of the progeny of the selkie-human pairings that have inspired so many myths. The combination of selkie and human gave me a character who could be magical, yet vulnerable; human, yet supernatural; smart, yet ignorant of her new world.

WG: Every single actor who’s ever played Dr. Who is alive and well and in the prime of his life, standing before you in a replica of the Tardis. Naturally you will want to squee—it’s an irresistible urge—but due to an evil plot by the Daleks you will only get to squee for ONE of the Doctors. The bad news is that the other Doctors will disappear. The good news is that the Doctor you squee for will ask you to be his new companion, and together you will defeat the Daleks once and for all. For whom will you squee, and why? Legions of Dr. Who geeks want to know.

NP: I would squee the hell out of Christopher Eccleston. It's the ears. And the accent. I'm always a sucker for a Northerner, of any country or planet.

WG: Your book has a vampire love interest, as many urban fantasies do. Why do you think that particular attraction has blossomed so well among both writers and readers? Can we trace everything back to Def Leppard’s song, “Love Bites,” or might there be a more significant sociological/cultural/psychological cause, or some other large college word at the root of it?

NP: I would hang everything on Great White's "Once Bitten, Twice Shy," but that's just me. I think there are tons of reasons we love vampires: the menace, the promise of immortality, the multiple penetration . . . by which I mean fangs, bitches. Get your minds out of the gutter.

My book has a lot of parodical elements, and Ryu is one of them. In Tempest Rising, Jane is totally, utterly excited to have a normal, old skool sexual fling. That Ryu is someone who screams "Fling" makes it even better. The way I see it, vampires--if they really existed--would have to be one of three things: parasites, like fleas, that no one wants to read about; monstrous predators; or total gigolos. I thought the third would be the funniest and sexiest to riff on, and I thought I could play a lot with the idea of what happens when women get what we think we want. We only catch a glimpse of this idea in TR, but Tracking the Tempest really delves into Jane's confronting what Ryu's existence truly means. So, yeah, women have fantasies about meeting that ultimate sexual ninja who will blow their mind with his sexcapades . . . but the reality of such a man is never as glossy as the exterior. They're fabulous for the short term, but long term? The issues rise to the surface like dead little goldfish. And nobody gets off on dead goldfish. At least, not people we discuss in public.

WG: You get to be a judge on Iron Chef America. What do you want their secret ingredient to be, and why? (No fair saying, “Bacon, because it’s bacon.” That’s too easy, because when they actually had bacon as the secret ingredient on Iron Chef America, it turned out to be a draw because everybody wins when they’re eating bacon.*)

NP: As I would eat poo if it were bacon-wrapped, I can understand your logic. Since I can't choose bacon, I would choose Guinness. I can drink it while they cook with it, and they can make delicious things with Guinness that I'd actually want to eat. If you've never had a Guinness cake, you're missing out on a little bit of heaven.

WG: How do you schedule your writing time? I’m very interested in this because you and I have similar day jobs (we teach), and I’m curious how you balance the demands of teaching with the demands of writing—and throw in the demands of drinking beer if you like.

NP: With the budget cuts at my university in Louisiana, this last semester was hell for writing. I really just wrote on weekends and breaks. I'm hoping to have a much more integrated author/professor existence at my new job, in Pennsylvania, at Seton Hill, where I'll be teaching in the MFA in Popular Fiction. But as far as balancing is concerned, I "balance" by working pretty much all the time. I've become just like my mother; I live for my work. And I'm totally unapologetic about that, as I love what I do and get so much pleasure out of my books and my teaching. I am, however, hoping to have a bit more of a social life in Pittsburgh. For Jane's sake, as well as my own. :-)

WG: Thanks so much, Nicole! Best wishes to you!

NP: Thank you, Kevin! It was great being here.

*Bobby Flay vs. Sursur Lee, 2006-2007 season, episode 12.

The Watson Place, Part One

2010-06-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

Now that I've finished my draft of Hammered and I'm waiting for my agent to give it a read, I'm free for a few days to relax—for the first time since last year, actually. It was about this time last year that Evan said he'd represent me, and ever since then it's been non-stop writing to complete the first three books in my series. I mean, there were days I wouldn't write, but I was always thinking about it and kind of working in that regard. Now I'm trying to chill and get my mind out of the fantasy world...with very little success. I'm already thinking about the next books. Heh!

But I'm confident that I'll be able to spending time in upstate New York with the Watsons, my in-laws. They have fifty acres with a bunch of stuff just growing wild around their place. It's beautiful here. Because I grew up in the desert and have lived there most of my life, I'm awed by all the green stuff. I took a few snaps today as I walked around a small fraction of the property. I'll take some more and post 'em in another installment later on. ALSO COMING SOON: next Tuesday, my interview with urban fantasy author Nicole Peeler; Thursday or Friday, my trip to the big city; and a trip to either Ommegang or Cooperstown breweries. Heck, maybe both!

These are some "black" raspberries that grow wild all over the property. Like everything else here, it's completely organic and free for the pickin' whenever it's ripe.

This bowl o' berries was picked this morning. We put 'em in pancakes for breakfast. The hand model is my daughter. Isn't she great?

Apple trees abound here. They have Macintosh, Granny Smith, Empire apples, and another kind they're not sure about. The Watsons bought this place from a dude who used to make apple wine out of them. Here you see some wee apples on their way to delicious.

This shot gives you a better idea of what it's like on the place. That's an apple tree in the center, surrounded by wild growth of various flowering doodads. I'm not much of a botanist so that's about as specific as I can get. The dog is a Newfoundland named Norphleet, which is Norwegian for "giant freakin' black dog." He's incredibly sweet and he loves roaming around the property.

I don't know what these furry fuzzy thingies are, except the remnants of a flowering plant that blooms in the fall. They're like woody skeletons standing sentinel in a field of summer bloom.

These are freshly harvested chives, which also grow wild on the property. Back in Arizona I have to pay $2.99 to get a wee package of organic chives and who knows how long ago they were harvested. So this morning I had a cheese and chive omelet (the eggs came from six chickens on the property, completely free range—they have the whole place to themselves) and berry pancakes, all major ingredients as fresh as possible. Life is good.

Like I said, more later. Hope your summer affords you a measure of peace as well.

A Deal is Made, a Book is Finished!

2010-06-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

Happy dancing abounds, for Harper Voyager in Australia is going to publish Hounded, Hexed, and Hammered! I hope all the Aussies and Kiwis really like the books and make me come down there. ;-) The plan is to release them simultaneously with the US editions, so that'll be April, May, & June of next year.

Today I also finished Hammered—or my first draft of it, anyway. This makes me happy because I'm still a month out from my due date. I'm going to read it all through with a critical eye and make some minor revisions suggested by my alpha readers, then I'll send it off to my beta reader and my agent. Delivery to Del Rey will follow shortly thereafter.

I've kept tabs and posted plenty of updates on the writing of Hammered for my own curiosity, so that I could go back at a later date—say, this one—and see if anything interesting emerged. I'm going to take a more in-depth look at my archives later and see if I can make a fancy chart, but the first thing I've noticed is that this one took a bit longer to write. It's to be expected, really: I knew when I finished Hexed I'd probably never write that fast again. From the first typed word to final delivery in New York, it took me only five months. Hammered is already pushing six months and it's still not ready to deliver...but it will be soon. The takeaway here is that I wrote two novels in 11 months. I didn't know that was possible for me until I did it. :-)

Also, I'm getting very excited because next week I get to meet my agent and editor in person for the first time! Here is what I know about them so far:
1. Evan is male.
2. Tricia is female.
I think we'll have plenty to talk about, don't you?

Some days are better than others

2010-06-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

You probably noticed before now.

But when one has a really good day, the question must be asked, why was it so good? Can we isolate the goodness? Did it involve small furry animals at their cutest? Pizza at its tastiest? America's home videos at their funniest?

For me, really good days are those of staggering accomplishments, and today I accomplished a stagger, amongst other things.

Fueled partially by beer and partially by this incredibly hypercaffeinated song called "Valley of the Damned" that I had playing on loop, I wrote 4,000 words today. Usually I manage a mere thousand or a little bit more. It probably helped that I was writing a battle sequence between my Druid and twelve Valkyries. I mean, you're not going to listen to DragonForce with the speakers turned up to 11 when you're trying to write a poignant mother-daughter scene in a melancholy train station. Or maybe that's exactly what you'd do, because you're just that edgy...I don't know. ;-)

But when you want to have a really good day writing about people swinging swords at enemy appendages, you owe it to yourself to start out watching this video, which is what happens when the Platonic Ideals of Luxurious Hair and Manual Dexterity meet. Seriously, endure the commercial at the beginning, watch the whole thing and you'll be amazed. By the time you get finished watching the part where they have isolation cams on the guitar players' hands, you'll want to go get some high quality shampoo and conditioner, scrub it into your scalp really really fast, and then write about people killing each other. Heh!

74K now on Hammered. Next up, the climactic battle in Asgard! I just need to find the right song....oh, wait! Here it is! If that can't inspire me to write up some total carnage, I'm doomed. (Though I think parts of this video are unintentionally funny...)

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #5

2010-06-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

Well hi there! A couple of these are older releases but they're new to me, so I'm featuring them with citrus, a small topnote of berries, and a side o' watermelon:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #5

It should be noted that the only lemons in this picture are the actual lemons. There are no lemons here in the pejorative sense. From L-R: Unholy Ghosts by Stacia Kane, Norse Code by Greg van Eekhout, and Leviathan by Scott Westerfield.

I haven't read Unholy Ghosts yet but I'm excited to get to it. Stacia has the same release schedule as me—her next two books in the series are coming out later this month and then in July, I think—and I have plenty of questions for her. Her main character, Chess Putnam, is something of an anti-hero, even for urban fantasy; besides being a witch, she's a drug addict.

If you're a fan of Norse mythology, Norse Code is a good time. Don't let the girl with the sharp pointy thing fool you, because it's not all about her. There's sort of a revolving cast, and the cover actually amuses me now because I can just imagine the meeting between the editorial and art departments:

"Okay, there's this god Hermod who's really the main character but we can't use him."

"Why not?"

"Because even though he's kind of funny, you can't really illustrate that; he's sort of a bum, socially inept and insecure about his abilities."

"Right. What else you got?"

"Well, there's this hot Valkyrie who wields a Chinese saber."

"Excellent! That's made of win! Let's do it!"

The point of view switches from the Valkyrie to the god to a pair of ravens and so on. It's the oldest release of the bunch, but quite worth picking up. The author's latest release is a book called Kid vs. Squid, a novel for young readers, and my ten-year-old daughter is digging it very much.

Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld, is also intended for younger readers, and it's the first of a series. It's unusual in that it's an alternate history of WWI—you don't see many of those around. It can also be classified as an example of early Dieselpunk, if you like to classify things. As a subgenre, I'm not sure that Dieselpunk will ever catch on or hold the allure of Steampunk; the Victorian era had such smashing fashion, you see, and such interesting social taboos. On the other hand, the Dieselpunk era (1920-1945) is a very fertile fictional playground, especially if one wants to play with it as an alternate history. You have the swing era, mobsters & Prohibition, WWII...and there's plenty of room for new writers to break in here and do something very cool. I don't think the "definitive work" of the genre's been written yet; Westerfeld's book is clearly wonderful, but he's forced to steer clear of some of the grittier, "punkier" aspects of the time since he's writing for a younger audience. If you're interested in seeing more about the Dieselpunk aesthetic, check out this neato spread at Dark Roasted Blend (just scroll down past the ad). Based on Westerfeld's work, I'm ready to see more of this sort of thing targeted to an older audience. His book is great for his intended audience, though; my daughter loved it too.

Nerd/Geek/Dork Cred

2010-06-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

I'm still not sure where I fit on the nerd/geek/dork continuum. I took this test and discovered that I'm 61% Nerd, 48% Geek, and 57% Dork. That adds up to more than 100% so that's probably pretty nerdy of me to point out. Or maybe it's geeky?

In terms of geekiness, there's this flow chart of the Geek Hierarchy, and if we were to stipulate this as being true then I'd be at the very top...or at least I will be next April. However, methinks there is much more to being a geek than simple fiction/entertainment preferences.

There are role-playing games, for example, like the classic Dungeons and Dragons, or Warhammer. There's some argument out there that D & D is like a "gateway drug" that leads to all sorts of nerdy-geeky-dorkdom, but bah, there can't be anything to that, can there?

Well, if it's true, I'm doomed. Or blessed, depending on your point of view. At least partially. I never played D & D, but I got into Warhammer last year with a friend of mine. The rules are slightly different, but yeah, it's a bunch of nerdy dudes with pizza and beer and many-sided dice talking about what their fantasy characters are going to do. Here's a sample of what our game play sounded like:

"I'm gonna slide up behind that demon minotaur and take a whack at his low-hanging balls with my axe, bitches." Except you have to salt that with about four F-bombs and punctuate it with a belch or a fart, then roll the dice and figure out whether the minotaur got to keep his nuts or not. Good times, good times.

We had a paladin/priest dude, a ranger/scout dude, a messenger sort of gal who had a crossbow, and then there was my character: Oläf Umlaut, Dwarf Runesmith! Oläf was the best dude of the bunch, no doubt about it. He brained an undead five-year-old girl once with his hammer and saved the group from becoming zombie snackage, though the group didn't realize when he did it that she was freakin' colder than Hecate's frosty gazongas. As a result, they all thought he'd killed an innocent little girl and got insanity points. I thought Oläf was so awesome that night; when you can simultaneously save the group and turn them insane, you are a bona fide badass.

Oh, and we didn't play with little Lord of the Rings action figures, either. We had custom figures made from cannibalized Warhammer figures and painted up all nice n' special by my very talented friend (and game master) Alan! You want to meet Oläf? I know you do. Here he is, in all his miniature glory:

Check out that braided beard! And the war hammer slung on his left side! In his right hand he's carrying some blacksmith tongs, because that's his skill, and in his left hand he's got a freakin' stein of ale, because drinking is his other skill! Here's another shot of Oläf from another angle:

For Alan, painting Oläf was easy-peasy nice n' cheesy. He's seriously talented at model painting and Warhammer nerds fork over lots of cheddar to have him paint their pieces. He's won awards at conventions and shit. Check out this gallery to see what he's capable of producing.

But alas! Our merry band of nerds/geeks/dorks had to disband because of heinous flakery. We'd only play once a month, but some of the guys couldn't seem to make it regularly and it fizzled. I'd like to play again sometime, but in the meantime Oläf is retired and enjoying all the frothy ale he can drink. In any case, my Nerd Cred has now been firmly established.

My first blurb!

2010-06-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Color me excited! (I think that's alzarin crimson with a touch of cadmium yellow.) I've just received my first blurb for Hounded from fantasy author Ari Marmell:

"Offering a page-turning and often laugh-out-loud funny caper through a mix of the modern and the mythic, Hounded is perhaps one of the most fun debuts I've read in a good long while. I don't know what Hearne has planned for the future, but I'll be watching for more."

Woohoo! Happy dance bereft of grace! Cute puppies! Hot chocolate with marshmallows! Thanks, Ari!

I don't actually know Ari. Somebody at Del Rey who knows somebody knows Ari, and they asked him if he'd be willing to read Hounded and maybe write a little something if he thought it was nifty. He said yes because it's always good to rack up Karma Points. He got absolutely nothing out of doing this besides Karma Points—not even something cheap and nasty, like a convenience store hot dog. Authors do this sort of thing because they hope that someday, somebody else will read their book and say nice things about it too. If they don't like a book, they don't lie and say they did—what would be the point? There's no upside to recommending a snorefest to people; it damages your credibility. That's why I'm so grateful for this blurb; he didn't have to say any of that, but he did.

Several other people are taking a look at the book and may offer blurbs down the road. If/when they come in, I'll be sure to share. ;-)

Word Counts

2010-06-05T08:19:00.000-07:00

Whenever you're tackling a big project like a novel, small goals are important, and the word count is an easy way to measure achievement. I'm at 60K words on Hammered today, so that's technically three-quarters of the way to my word count goal. It'll probably wind up going over 80K—Hounded and Hexed are both in the mid 80s—but heck, you take your milestones where you can. And I'm not saying these 60K words are golden. They'll get edited and revised and some passages will get cut out completely and replaced with something else. In the meantime, reaching a word count goal is an excuse to do a happy dance, because you need them while you're writing. It's far too easy to get discouraged otherwise.

Here's the difference between writing during school and writing during the summer: During school I averaged only 2550 words a week. During this first week of summer, I've written 9,000. It's really encouraging to make so much progress. I'm hoping I can keep up the pace to finish by the end of June...my deadline's at the end of July, and I like to be early if I can.

In other news, my brilliant wife, Kimberly, is also going to be published. Her article on F. Scott Fitzgerald and the American dream was accepted by The Explicator, an academic journal, and will appear in their next issue. She's amused that students can now cite her in their papers about The Great Gatsby.

And for fans of Norse mythology (I know you're out there, Amalia), check out Norse Code by Greg van Eekhout if you haven't already. His protagonist is a valkyrie and he knows his stuff really well. He switches POV between the valkyrie, one of Odin's sons, Hugin and Munin, and others. I'm not finished with the book yet, but I've been entertained so far.

Cover Musings

2010-06-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

The typical urban fantasy cover shows us an attractive young woman in leather holding a weapon. It's staggeringly popular and I'm not here to question why. I mean, duh, what's not to like? But Hounded is a wee bit different from most urban fantasies in that the protagonist is male. There are a few other male protagonists out there—Harry Dresden, of course, and then the dude in Harry Connolly's Game of Cages series and Simon R. Green's Nightside books—but mostly, it's a genre dominated by kickass heroines.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Plenty of people want to be dominated by a kickass heroine.

But I can't put one of those on my cover. I can't even put my character in leather, because he doesn't wear it, and he doesn't wear a trench coat or a leather duster or a hat pulled low over his eyes. To make things more difficult, my main character isn't a vampire or a werewolf—nor is he in love with a vampire or werewolf, employed in the vampire and werewolf-slaying industry, or related to a half-vampire and raising werewolves in the basement. He is, in fact, a Druid—but not the kind with giant beards and white robes.

So. How does one design a cover for such a character? How does one come up with something that will appeal to fans of the genre? Well, stay tuned. People smarter than me at Del Rey are figuring it out, and you can be sure I'll post it here when it's available. But I think it's safe to reveal two things at this point:

1. There will be no purple.
2. There will be no man boobs.

And I will not apologize for those things, because they are wrong.

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #4

2010-05-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

Along with all the delicious fantasy, today we shall enjoy watermelon, nectarines, saturn peaches, and a bit o' tea with honey:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #4

Yeah, that's a red onion in there. I'm just making sure you're paying attention.

A bit about the fantasy: Neil Gaiman + Charles Vess = Yum. Enough said. In the back on the right, we see The Tough Guide to Fantasyland by Diana Wynne Jones. If you read a lot of fantasy, you'll find this really amusing. I was reading it in Starbucks and laughing out loud, drawing glares from staid, sober types who always glare at me when I laugh out loud. (I might be the only person who laughs in my neighborhood. I really need to move out.) The Tough Guide deals with all the clichés of fantasy, and let me tell you, they're still getting used even though this book came out a few years ago. My favorite is how everyone eats stew. Even though it takes hours to make stew from scratch, especially over a camp fire, all these heroes are eating stew on their journeys instead of slicing off a steak from a slain animal and cooking that in a few minutes. Seriously, have you ever tried to make stew from scratch, without using pre-made broth or stock? Try it and then check out how long it takes them to do it in a novel. That's magic.

The featured book here is The Light-Years Beneath My Feet by Alan Dean Foster. This is also a few years old, but what I really want to do is express my fanboy ecstasy for Mr. Foster's body of work rather than draw attention to any particular book. He's written over thirty-five books for Random House alone. He's written more with other publishers. Check out the list here. That's a long, prolific career, friends. He's written science fiction and fantasy; he's written series and standalones. And no matter what you pick up, you'll get a good read, guaranteed. He's not a #1 bestseller (I don't think?), he doesn't win fancy-schmancy awards, he just gives you an entertaining read, every time, and he's been doing it since 1972. I first got hooked on him with The Man Who Used the Universe. I've read it so many times that my copy is falling apart. After that I read The I Inside, and I liked that even more. (Those links are to Powells, and you'll probably have to find those books at used bookstores because they're out of print now.)

There are only a few authors who write books that I read multiple times. I revisit Card's Ender's Game quite a bit; McCaffrey's Dragonsinger series; Herbert's Dune; Stephenson's Snow Crash; Tolkien, of course; and then there are these little books by Mr. Foster that I just dig for some reason. The first book of his Damned trilogy, A Call to Arms, keeps me coming back. I really enjoyed Drowning World and Life Form, too. And Mudge, the otter from his Spellsinger series, started me laughing out loud in public early on and drawing glares from stuffy old people. If you've never given Mr. Foster a look, he's worth a try. He's bound to have written something you'd enjoy with fifty or so books to his name. He's basically the guy who got me hooked on science fiction when I was young; his Spellsinger books were also the first fantasy I ever read. In many ways, he's the reason I'm a writer now. Mr. Foster, I salute you—and thank you for all the great stories.

Summer's here (for me)

2010-05-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

School's out! I get to write full time now, and catch up on all the things around the house that have gotten away from me. Like, you know, the entire backyard.

Good news! My typeset manuscript for Hounded is here—the galleys, I believe they're called—and they're simply beautiful to look at. Seein' my first book in print like this has had me grinning like an idiot all day. There are little boo-boo's to fix here and there, typos that creep in during the process, you know, but nothing serious. In other good news, the manuscript's been sent out to a few other authors here and there for blurbs, so I might have some of their spiffy (and kind) words to share down the road.

As I'm leading up to the big finale in Hammered, I keep changing my mind about who's going to feel the pain and how. I wonder if it's like that for the Fates (or the Norns), trying to figure out which thread to cut and how to knit the others together afterward. I'm even throwing in a couple of the Norse gods—Heimdall and Tyr—that I hadn't originally planned for, because more mayhem and peril is always a good time. My plans for the fate of Freyja have also changed...

Coming soon: a puppy cuteness overdose (we have a Boston Terrier pup), another Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit, and a red-bearded dwarf named Olaf Umlaut.

Alphas & Betas & Editing

2010-05-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

This is about alpha and beta readers, not werewolves. Rarr! Sorry. It's also about all the fixin' that needs to be done before a book appears on the shelves.

Nobody writes perfect, golden prose on their first draft. Or even their second or third. I could be wrong...but I doubt it.

Every writer's different on how they approach these things, but it's fairly common to have some sort of feedback during the writing process. An objective pair of eyes can catch inconsistencies and let you know whether what you've written A) makes any sense and B) if you're entertaining. I use two alpha readers who look at each chapter as it's finished and one beta reader who looks at the whole novel only. These three people all look at the book before my agent or editor sees it.

So hey, shout-outs to my alphas, Alan and Tawnya: They catch all sorts of good stuff and let me know when I've made a factual error. For example: "Kevin, blue spruce trees don't grow in Europe. Dumbass."

Calling me a dumbass wasn't really part of the original comment—I simply felt like one. And I'm grateful to my alpha reader for checking on these things. I should have taken the time to research that, but I was probably in a character/plot groove and didn't want to pause to make sure I named the right species of tree. A good alpha reader will call you on stuff like that, and it's hard to find good alphas. Who'd want to read a novel in spastic spoonfuls, sometimes weeks apart, and nitpick instead of simply enjoying the story? Such people are a rare breed.

My beta reader, Andrea, is my Politically Correct filter. (Sometimes I put things in there just to set her off. It's funny when she gets into a snit.) She also finds inconsistencies in tone that occasionally creep in during the course of writing, and she suggests that I flesh out a character here or maybe leave out something there. Since she reads the whole book in a sitting or two, she spots larger issues rather than tiny ones.

After the alphas and beta are finished and I've made changes according to their suggestions, I send it off to my agent, who may/may not have plenty to say (there was a lot for Hounded, but he had me deliver Hexed to Del Rey as is) and only then do I deliver it to my editor. This means my editor is probably seeing my fourth or fifth draft, but I go ahead and call it my "first" draft in terms of my computer files.

Then we go back and forth with changes until she says heck, this is pretty good, I'll accept this. At that point everybody takes a few minutes for a happy dance. To give you an idea of quantity, there were five rounds of changes for Hounded, only three for Hexed.

But wait! We're not finished! Next the copy editor gets hold of it and lays down some Grammar Fu with a green pencil. He/she will also catch lots of factual issues, ask great questions, point out inconsistencies, and I can make changes there as necessary.

After that it goes to typesetting, and the only changes I can make then are minor spelling/punctuation doodads. Inserting/deleting passages is probably not a good idea at this point, because it costs money.

Finally, it's finished. Only after months of work will it go out to the general public. The author's name is on the cover so he/she gets all the credit, but quite a few people are involved with any publication. (I didn't even mention the cover artist and all the people in marketing and publicity. That'll be a blog for another day.) So to my alphas and beta and my agent & editor(s), thank you, and cheers.

Narrative Voices

2010-05-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

Since my books are first-person narratives, it's easy to get into a bit of a rut. Ruts can be nice, mind you. Sometimes they're downright comfy. But sometimes you'd like to put on a new pair of shoes and step out of that rut. Stretch your legs, go on a minor perambulation off-road, discover wombats lurking in the undergrowth. Find buried treasure. Or simply find out where the hell this metaphor is going, because I'm not sure anymore.

I've been stepping outside the (entirely pleasant) rut lately. For five chapters in Hammered, I get to tell the story in the voice of a different narrator. Making each narrator sound (and read) differently than my accustomed narrative voice is the fun bit. And it's really bizarre what it can do to your head when you sink yourself so deeply into a character that you begin to think like him.

One of my characters is especially hirsute—as in, don't let him make you any food without a full-body hairnet. After writing in his voice for an hour, I was overwhelmed with an urgent need to shave. And get a haircut. I actually felt hairier after writing and thinking in his voice.

That might indicate I have a dire need for therapy. But I hope it means I'm writing a lively character with his own personality.

Hmmm. If writing a hairy character makes me want to shave...I think I'll create a skinny character next and drop ten pounds after writing a thousand words in his voice. And I will never, ever write a criminal because I like living outside of jail.

I know not how others do it, but I create a very specific set of verbal tics for each character. Leif Helgarson doesn't use contractions often, for example, giving his diction an almost ridiculous level of formality. A Russian character neglects to use articles and often forgets to use pronouns, etc.

51K on Hammered now. For some reason, being over 50K makes me feel like I'm sprinting for the finish line. I do a little "Halfway!" dance all through the 40s, but once I hit 50K I know I'm on the home stretch. D'oh! Writing "home stretch" made Mötley Crüe's "Home Sweet Home" pop into my head. And now that I've written it down and you've read it, it's in your head too. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Mötley Crüe is a virus.

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #3, Steampunk Edition

2010-05-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ah, goggles & dirigibles—is there anything more divine? Yes! Goggles and dirigibles and FRUIT! Behold the latest composition in my ongoing series:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #3

Friends, this is simply delicious. Cherie Priest's Boneshaker, Gail Carriger's Changeless, and a delectable chorus of pears, grapes, and melons await your admiration!

Boneshaker doesn't simply have cool gadgets & goggles: it has zombies! Mmm, braaaaaains. (That is why the melons were absolutely necessary.) It's also printed with brown ink and set in a rather tasteful font. Thus far I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Changeless, aside from its great humor and attention to fashion, features werewolves and vampires and mummies, and if you're interested in picking it up, I'd start with Soulless first, which will get you hooked on a fantastic series. Carriger's third book is supposed to come out in September—I can't wait—and if I'm lucky, I'll get to interview up here on the Grove.

Speaking of interviews, you can look forward to two this summer: Nicole Peeler on June 29, and Kelly Meding on July 27. Those are actually release dates for their second books, and if you'd like to be introduced to them ahead of time, Nicole's first book is called Tempest Rising and Kelly's is called Three Days to Dead.

Still plugging away at my third: 47K now on Hammered.

Research

2010-05-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

One of the things I'm enjoying as a writer is how I frequently get surprised by my need to research something. As a reader, I'm familiar with being taken to "whole new worlds," but it happens often when I write as well.

For example, right now I need to know a few things about Prague and a little town called Osinalice in the Czech Republic. I didn't know in advance that I'd need to do this; Prague wasn't in my outline for Hammered, I assure you, but now it's in the book, just a wee bit, and in subsequent books (may there be many), Prague will figure more prominently.

Thank goodness for the Internet(s). But dang it, now that I've looked at Prague a bit, I want to go there. For now I guess I'll have to live vicariously through my characters.

Perhaps the most research I've had to do to date—aside from years of soaking up mythology from this source or that—is on the nature of iron and its use (or misuse) in fantasy as a foil for magic. The most enjoyable research has been discovering which Irish pub in Arizona has the best fish and chips. (The answer: Rúla Búla.) The coolest experience so far has been to present a real-life detective with a death scene in Hexed and ask her how she'd approach it as a case. She came up with questions/things to investigate I didn't even consider, which illustrated to me how much I would suck at being an evil genius...and also why I'd be awful at writing mysteries.

Prague is my whole new world for today. If anyone's been there and knows where the spooky parts are, give me a holler.

The Geek List (embedded in a list of miscellanea)

2010-05-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

1. Moms are cool.

2. I'm currently reading a book called Shop Class as Soulcraft. It reminds me very much of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, though this is a bit more straightforward and not couched in fiction. I'll post a review when I'm finished.

3. I liked Robert Redick's The Red Wolf Conspiracy quite a bit, though I haven't written a full review. The creatures called murths were fascinating...wished I could have read more about them.

4. I'm now at 44K on Hammered.

5. There are degrees of geekiness and nerdiness, and I while I can truthfully claim to be both mildly nerdy and mildly geeky, there are certain things I must acquire to rise up in the ranks a become a TurboGeek or TurboNerd. The good folks at thinkgeek.com have me covered. For example, there's this Dread Pirate Roberts action figure. It's terribly fashionable, as I've wished. And then I need to get myself a new sonic screwdriver because the new Dr. Who has one. When I'm on the go and a bit sluggish and don't have a pot of coffee ready, then I can have myself a Caffeinated Maple Bacon Lollipop. Mmm, bacon. With 80 mg. of caffeine in every pop, I'll be shredding like Megadeth on my electric guitar shirt. Rock on.

Halfway There

2010-05-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

The third book's been tougher than book two; the demands on my attention thus far in 2010 have been many and varied—you know, life—and there's much more to do in the way of world building for this one. Still, I'm over 40K words on Hammered as of today, and since I was hoping to reach that number by May 31, much less May 5, I'm pleased to be ahead of schedule.

We're thinking of getting a new puppy and my daughter wants to name it Boba Fett, regardless of whether it's male or female. I'm not sure whether to be proud or horrified. Perhaps I could try being proudly horrified, or horrifyingly proud...

Today is an excellent day to drink a margarita—and not a cheap house margarita, either. I'm talking about the fancy-schmancy ones. Rocks, no salt for me. Cheers.

In Praise of Chaucer

2010-04-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

I wish Chaucer would get more credit than he usually does. The dude was brilliant, and it's hard to appreciate him fully without hearing his original language—which was, after all, a bit different from ours. He wrote The Canterbury Tales before the great vowel shift in English, and spellings weren't entirely agreed upon, either (which continued through Shakespeare's day). Still, modern readers can follow along pretty darn well, and when you hear it with the original pronunciation his gift becomes clear. I had a professor in college who would read it to the class with the shifted vowels, just as Chaucer would have in his time, and it's wondrous poetry.

But it's also quite ribald at times. People like to gasp and blush at the naughty bits of our plays and movies today, but I don't think there's much going on today that can rival the "ick" factor of Chaucer when he wanted to lay it down—nor much that can rival the humor. Check out the following passage below—it's from the Miller's Tale. This one doesn't get taught in school very much...you'll see why. This passage is about a young foppish sort named Absalon who wants nothing more than a kiss from a lady, and finally, one night, she gives in—but not the way he expects. (Modern English translation provided by the nice folks at Harvard.)

3730 This Absolon gan wype his mouth ful drie.
This Absolon wiped his mouth very dry.
3731 Derk was the nyght as pich, or as the cole,
Dark was the night as pitch, or as the coal,
3732 And at the wyndow out she putte hir hole,
And at the window out she put her hole,
3733 And Absolon, hym fil no bet ne wers,
And Absolon, to him it happened no better nor worse,
3734 But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers
But with his mouth he kissed her naked ass
3735 Ful savourly, er he were war of this.
With great relish, before he was aware of this.
3736 Abak he stirte, and thoughte it was amys,
Back he jumped, and thought it was amiss,
3737 For wel he wiste a womman hath no berd.
For well he knew a woman has no beard.
3738 He felte a thyng al rough and long yherd,
He felt a thing all rough and long haired,
3739 And seyde, "Fy! allas! what have I do?"
And said, "Fie! alas! what have I done?"

Ha! and Eww! and Ha! again. This bawdy tale is told by a miller, of course, a fellow who enjoys lowbrow humor, and it follows a very tony highbrow tale by a knight. The genius of Chaucer is that these twenty-four different narrators feel so authentic, displaying variations in their language according to their social class.

I'm attempting something similar for five chapters of Hammered (in prose, not verse), so I've been revisiting Chaucer lately and rediscovering his brilliance. Six characters in my novel will be making a pilgrimage of sorts, and five of them will share a tale with the others: a wizard, an alchemist, a thunder god, a werewolf, and a vampire. The Wizard's Tale is already finished, and I'm looking forward to writing the others "ful savourly."

The Meat of a Query Letter

2010-04-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

Hounded will be published one year from today. Is it too early to start a countdown?

Hmm. Probably.

While staring at the calendar and willing it to turn faster, I've been reflecting on what got me this far. Writing the book sure helped, of course, but writing the query letter got the book looked at in the first place. Lots of writers never get their book seriously considered because their query letter doesn't snag an agent's interest.

I'd actually suggest writing a query letter as a method of focusing your writing if you're in the process of completing a project now. Distilling your project down to its essentials can be wonderfully clarifying if you're flailing about with subplots and how you're ever going to end it.

The meat of your query should focus on your main character's conflict. What is at stake for your character, and what kind of heck must he/she endure before that conflict gets resolved? You put other goodies in a query too, like word count and marketing possibilities and maybe a wee bit about yourself if it will help you sell the story—but all of those are side dishes. Focus on the meat. You won't be able to dwell on subplots very much and that's okay—after all, if they don't want your main plot, they're not going to want the subplot(s) either.

My query letter got me several requests for partial manuscripts, a couple of full requests, and one whole agent (which is all you need). The meat was in the first three paragraphs. In the last paragraph I included the word count and genre, mentioned its series potential, and asked if I could send the manuscript. To celebrate the beginning of my year-long countdown to publication, below is the meat of my query letter for Hounded:

Atticus O'Sullivan has been running for two thousand years, and he's a bit tired of it. After he stole a magical sword from the Tuatha Dé Danann (those who became the Sidhe or the Fae) in a first-century battle, some of them were furious and gave chase, and some were secretly amused that a Druid had the cheek to defy them. As the centuries passed and Atticus remained a fugitive—an annoyingly long-lived one, at that—those who were furious only grew more so, while others began to aid him in secret.

Now he's living in Tempe, Arizona, the very last of the Druids, far from where the Fae can easily enter this plane and find him. It's a place where many paranormals have decided to hide from the troubles of the Old World—from an Icelandic vampire holding a grudge against Thor to a coven of Polish witches who ran from the German Blitzkrieg.

When Atticus hears from the Morrigan that his nemesis, Aenghus Óg, has found him again, he decides to stay and fight rather than run. In so doing, he becomes the center of a power struggle among the Tuatha Dé Danann, where the sword he stole is the key to a plot to overthrow Brighid, first among the Fae.

That was all the meat I wrote. I doubt my agent pitched the book in the same way, and that's not what you'll see on the back cover of the book, but it worked. I left out a couple of gods and some werewolves and an Irish wolfhound named Oberon, but none of that was the meat of the story.

If I may, I highly recommend a site called the Absolute Write Water Cooler. Here's the link. They have a Share Your Work section where you can post your query letter and get feedback on it. I didn't discover it until after I'd already written mine, but it's clear that it helps many people. They have lots of other forums too, and it's a great community made up of published and (as yet) unpublished authors.

Okay. Is it 2011 yet?

Two movies

2010-04-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

Quick post: Saw two movies recently on the opposite ends of entertainment. One was Kick-Ass. Don't take any kids. Just take your inner comic book nerd and enjoy.

One of the things I completely geeked out about is that I buy my comics at Atomic Comics...and it's in the movie.

The other movie was Oceans, a documentary released today, Earth Day. Stunning. Beautiful. Jaw dropped when I saw the blanket octopus and the mantis shrimp. Check 'em out:

Blanket Octopus

Mantis Shrimp

Oh, and yeah, the guy swimming along the Great White in peace was a trip. Amazing. Makes me wonder what else we're missing down there. Two thumbs up for both movies.

Copy Editing Day

2010-04-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

Today I am supposed to receive the copy-edited manuscript for my second book, Hexed. I'm incredibly excited about this—so much so that I might indulge in excessive superfluous exclamation points!!!!!!

You might wonder why.

Why would any sane person want to see their written work all marked up by a stranger 3,000 miles away?

Because there will be a title page with my name on it that the publisher made up all special just for me. There will also be an ISBN number assigned specifically to my book. It's all proof that my dream of getting published will be real someday...in just a wee bit over a year from now. *tiny groan*

April 26, 2011...*another tiny groan.* It's a long time to wait. Nineteen months and one day after the deal was struck, Hounded will finally hit the shelves. That is a bit longer than most deals, but since it's going to be followed in quick succession by Hexed in May and Hammered in June, the extra time is built in there for me to actually write two books.

It will be bearable, of course, because the day will eventually come. I get to wake up every day and know I'm twenty-four hours closer to my goal. Eventually I'll get to see my covers and do a little dance. I'll get to hear the reader of the audio version attempt to do all the accents in the books (Irish, Polish, Tamil, Russian, Finnish, Mandarin, Icelandic, and German) and grin until my face hurts. And maybe, in the interim, I'll get some good news from overseas, or some news about dramatic rights. It could happen anytime, and that makes waiting more fun.

As far as progress goes, I've taken a step backward, but I think it's more of a course correction. I've been writing about these vampires recently and not digging it at all. I wrote about four thousand words, had this huge imbroglio set at University of Phoenix Stadium, and it didn't feel right. So I highlighted the lot of it and pressed Delete. It wasn't really a subplot; it was more of a derailment, a complete tangent, and it's better that I wait on the vampires until I can develop them properly in their own story. Hammered isn't about vampires. It's about Ratatosk and Yggdrasil, Thor and Odin, and How to Tempt a Frost Giant.

O frabjous day! There shall be many words to cuddle, plus hot chocolate with marshmallows! I raise my mug to you, and hope you have some lovely words to cuddle up with too.

O, Iceland!

2010-04-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

I expect there are many people staggeringly inconvenienced by Iceland right now. People who have never looked at a globe are now scowling at it, shaking their fingers scoldingly at the volcanically active island and complaining about their cancelled flights. I don't know why they're so surprised. I mean, you could just take a look at this map of Iceland from 1590 and know that someday it was going to throw out some serious shit:

Iceland: This map tried to warn us!

Look at those mutant critters swimming around everywhere! Why, some of them have the characteristics of land creatures! Some of them have antennae! Some of them have even learned how to walk on water! (I especially like the hippocampus near the bottom left.)

In one of those minor cosmic coincidences that crunchy hippie people in the 90s might have called "very Celestine," I've been writing about Iceland recently in the third novel in my series, Hammered. Two of the characters are from there, and a third has an unfortunate meeting with Thor while staying near the modern-day town of Eskifjordur. While doing some basic background research yesterday, I'd just finished reading about how volatile and unstable the geology was when the news blared out at me that Eyjafjallajokull had announced its presence with authority. This is how Eyjafjallajokull says hello:

Howdy, world! I dare you to say my name!

After the dust settles, I'm going to have to visit. It's such a fascinating hunk of rock and not entirely covered in ice at all. The geothermal vents all over the place tend to heat things up, and ocean currents keep it fairly temperate even though it's above the Arctic circle. Since my fictional characters owe so much to their land, I owe it to them to see the nonfictional reality of it. I'm looking forward to the trip! You know...someday.

The 3:2 Interview with Peter V. Brett

2010-04-13T03:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first 3:2 Interview, where I ask three serious questions and two rather silly ones of an author you might not know yet but will certainly love soon.

Today’s interview is with Peter V. Brett (call him “Peat”), author of The Warded Man and its sequel, The Desert Spear, which is available right now. Peat is one of several authors, along with Patrick Rothfuss, R. Scott Bakker and Joe Abercrombie, who are breathing new life into the epic fantasy genre.

Writer’s Grove: When you set out to write your series, were there specific fantasy tropes you were consciously trying to avoid, or perhaps tweak in a new way?

Peat: I dunno, maybe unconsciously. I’ve read about a billion fantasy novels (actual number closer to 600), and I think I’ve built a good sense of what works in a story and what doesn’t, but it wasn’t like I had compiled a list of tropes to work with. I just set out trying to tell a good story.

Oh, wait. That’s a lie. I deliberately decided to ban all swords from the series. I love a good swordfight as much as the next guy, but I felt like I’d written a thousand of them in my life, and wanted a new challenge. In the story, humanity has been reduced to a tiny fraction of its former size, and warfare between men is unheard of. Demons are so powerful that they will likely kill you if they get within striking range, so the best option is a weapon that can keep them at a distance, like a spear. Swords are impractical and obsolete.

WG: If we go to a fantastic pub with everything on tap, what do you order to drink with your greasy fried food and will you pick up the check?

P: Guinness or Killian’s Irish Red, depending on my mood. Sometimes a Jack and coke. Bacon cheeseburgers and fries are on me.

WG: The Krasian culture of The Desert Spear is the most developed culture based on the Middle East I’ve seen since Frank Herbert’s Dune—and that was science fiction. What sort of background in Middle Eastern cultures did you have prior to writing the book, and how much research did you have to do to write about this culture convincingly?

P: First off, I will confess to never having read Dune. Sacrilege, I know. I saw the movie in college, but I barely remember it.

Regarding the Krasians, I wouldn’t say they are based on the Middle East. Flavored would perhaps be a better word. There is as much Ancient Sparta and Medieval Japan to their culture as Middle Eastern, and a whole lot of stuff I just plain made up. The result is a very unique people with a rich history and unique worldview that is all their own. They’re not meant to be a commentary on any real world culture.

As for research… meh. I read a lot.

WG: Gandalf and Chuck Norris meet at a neutral location (say, for example, Dairy Queen) and fight to the death. Who wins and how?

P: Gandalf says some cryptic things that confuse Chuck and make him question his life’s path. He is soon weeping like a little girl into Gandalf’s white robes and begging forgiveness. Offers to beat himself up as penance. Gandalf buys him some ice cream.

We are talking Gandalf the White, right? Gandalf the Grey would just fry his ass with a lightning bolt.

WG: When can we expect to see book three (and is there a title yet)?

P: The series will go to five books. The title of book three is The Daylight War, and it is coming along really well, I think. I have it plotted down to minute detail, and am working on the prose. I still have a LOT of work ahead of me, so I am reluctant to make promises about when it will be available. 2012…ish?

WG: Thanks Peat!

P: Thanks for having me!

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #2

2010-04-09T20:35:00.000-07:00

Behold my new masterpiece:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #2

"You put the lime with the coconut and read it all up." That's how the song goes, right?

Unlike my first Still Life, I didn't get these books for free. I paid U.S. dollars for them because these two particular authors aren't with my publisher. That being said, they're also quite worth it, because they're the leading writers in the urban fantasy genre and their books are always entertaining.

Let's pause a moment to judge these books by their covers. On the one hand you have a Brooding Trench Coat Man holding a staff like he's claiming this land in the name of Some Majesty, May He/She Reign Forever. On the other you have an Impressively Inked Woman holding a book, giving you this look over her shoulder that suggests if you ask her nicely, she might read it to you. Or...you can read about her reading that book to someone else in the book. There are layers of books here. I'm sold! Briggs wins, hands down!

Here's what I like about the photo: It looks like Brooding Trench Coat Man is glaring at the reflected, mirror-imaged name of Patricia Briggs invading the territory he has claimed with his phallic symbol.

If you're not familiar with either of these authors, I highly recommend filling this awful void in your life. You're truly missing out on some great characters. You can start with Jim Butcher's Storm Front here and Patricia Briggs' Moon Called here.

I'll get reviews of these up when I'm finished with them. I'm chugging through Silver Borne right now. The Impressively Inked Woman hasn't read that book to me yet, but there's still a hundred pages to go, so there's hope.

Vamping

2010-04-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

There are several schools of vampires out there, some more appealing than others, and I've been working on the kind o' vamps I want in my novels. There's currently only one vampire in my world, but many more are coming along and my lone vampire is supposed to be different from the others. So the question I'm asking myself is, what are the others like? This isn't an exhaustive list by any means, but feel free to add to it in the comments.

1. Old School: They're predators, we're food. That's it. Well, maybe not. Sometimes, there are bat wings.
2. Anne Ricers: Bored dandies who seem mysterious because they still dress like courtiers from the time of Louis the XIV instead of in jeans and t-shirts.
3. Bikers n' Goths: Leather and chains and bad-boy image.
4. Tootsie Rolls: Hard outer shell but a soft, chewy emotional center ready for that special human girl to nourish and control. Lots of paranormal romances have these.
5. Shiny vegetarian vampires who think self-absorbed teenagers are incredibly attractive.
6. Cold businessmen with an eye for long-term investments.

I've eliminated #4 and #5 from consideration. Working on lengthening the list of options or hybridizing it...

32K on Hammered.

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit

2010-03-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

My editor is THE COOLEST editor ever! Behold Exhibit A:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #1

All of this was sent to me by my editor, except for the fruit. Here's what you're looking at, left to right, front row: Robert Redick's The Red Wolf Conspiracy; a Braeburn apple; Daryl Gregory's Pandemonium; another apple; Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett's Have Mercy; and then moving to the back row, an Advanced Reader Edition of Peter V. Brett's The Warded Man; a NEW! AWESOME! copy of Mr. Brett's latest novel, The Desert Spear, two weeks before it's available in stores (Whoops! I just drooled on the keyboard in nerd ecstasy!); bananas, because this shit is bananas; Richard K. Morgan's The Steel Remains; and a final apple.

And now we pause for a celebratory squee. Squeeeee!!!

I had no idea how cool it would be to get free books until I got them. I mean, when I was a younger nerd with more hair, I'd get "free" books from those book clubs, but we all know they weren't really free because you had that commitment hanging over you to buy only six more books in the next year at regular club price and you had to return that card on time or they'd send you a crappy book of the month instead of something you wanted. These books are free. I don't have to buy anything or "just pay shipping and handling." And yes, I'm bragging about it. I'm having a nice brag right now, because this is the coolest perk I never expected for getting published. I didn't expect any perks, to be honest; getting published is satisfactorily perky all by itself. It doesn't need perks. But they are there, and this is one of them.

In coming days, weeks, (months?) I'll be reviewing these. I'm reading The Warded Man first because I've heard nothing but stellar things about it and I'm fond of reading stellar books. But after that and The Desert Spear, I'm digging into Richard Morgan's book. His Altered Carbon was awesome stuff and so were the sequels, so I can't wait to see what he's done here. Oh, and you know what? I almost bought that book over the weekend! I picked it up, all excited, and then I checked the publisher on the spine and went "WHOA!" kind of like that loud man in the Staples commercials but several decibels quieter. Richard Morgan's with Del Rey, too! I had no idea. I put the book down—very reluctantly—because I thought maybe, just maybe, Tricia would surprise me with it. And she DID! So that is Exhibit B. The books & authors in the front row are unknown to me, but I'm looking forward to this particular introduction and I'll share the experience when I get to them.

I really need to write an effusive missive o' thanks to my editor now.

School's keepin' me busy and it's tough to find the headspace to write, but I'm at 30K on Hammered now and deep in research on the Kabbalah for my Kabbalist warriors. Happy Passover to all my Jewish friends.

Three Writing Myths Busted

2010-03-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

I like encouraging folks to write. It gives me warm fuzzies. I think most everyone has a story to tell, and if they want to work at it hard enough and long enough to tell it very, very well, then they should be able to find an audience for that story and someone willing to pay them for it.

But it can be discouraging, I know, to work for so long on a project with no certainty of it ever sitting on a bookshelf with its own cute little ISBN barcode.

Luckily, there's some encouragement to be had. Fantasy author Jim Hines recently conducted a survey of 246 published sci-fi/fantasy authors about how they sold their first books, and the full results of that survey are now posted on his blog. Here's the link to his awesome work, please check it out.

Though it's obviously skewed toward sci-fi/fantasy authors, it contains information that should be useful to everyone, and busts a few pervasive myths. I'll highlight a couple of them here and throw in my personal, anecdotal info.

Busted Myth #1: You have to sell short fiction first.
Out of 246 authors, 116 sold a book without ever selling a short story. That includes me. (I participated in Jim's survey.)

Busted Myth #2: Traditional publishing is dead, self-publishing is the way to go.
Not so much. There are huge, isolated success stories—Christopher Paolini is the one that comes to mind—but the key word here is isolated. Those kinds of success stories are anomalies. Out of the 246 surveyed authors, only one self-published first before getting picked up by a major publisher.

Busted Myth #3: You have to know someone in the business to get published.
140 of the authors (over half) had no contacts at either their agency or their publisher before making their first book sale. I'm one of those. I know four whole people in the industry now, but I still haven't met them in person: I know my agent and a colleague of his, and I know my editor and assistant editor at Del Rey. But I "met" my agent through a query letter. And I didn't "speak" to my editor until my agent made the deal. So the proof is there and it's solid: you can get into this business based solely on the power of your written words.

There are many more nuggets of golden info to be found in the survey—I highly recommend it—but here are the last couple of stats I'd like to point out: It seems most of the authors sold their first books in their mid to late 30's. (I was 38 at the time of the sale.) And while 58 authors sold the first book they ever wrote, many wrote 2-4 books before they got their first sale. I wrote two other books before I wrote Hounded and learned so much in the process. I also learned quite a bit from the process of writing Hounded; I wrote the next book in the series more quickly and it didn't require as much editing.

Hopefully this info will encourage some of you on your journey to getting published!

Killer Bug!

2010-03-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

Things I normally don't blog about: bugs.

But I just recently realized that I'm sharing the planet with this particular bug and I think it's cool. It's called a wheel bug, and it's the largest of the assassin beetles. Sort of like a ninja insect.

See that little tubelike doodad underneath its conehead with the googly black eyes? That thing will whip and stab another insect and paralyze it almost instantly, and then it'll start pumping saliva and enzymes into the critter and liquefy its insides before sucking it all up like a slurpee. They kill lots of garden pests so they're actually good to have around, but they're kind of scary.

For humans their bites are painful and don't heal very quickly; they'll probably leave a scar. But they don't attack unless provoked, and they move pretty slowly unless you're right in their face.

These things usually go for caterpillars and such, but they can even take out bees with no trouble and yes, even praying mantises! Check out this YouTube video here; the mantis puts up a fight but once that beak is in there, it's nothing more than a mantis milkshake to the wheel bug.

Sweet dreams!

Enormity of a novel vs. wee little goals

2010-03-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

If someone says unto thee, "I must have your completed novel in five months. Begin," what you would begin is not a novel at all, but an epic freakout over the impossibility of the demand. The number of words involved—75,000-120,000, depending on your book—boggles the mind and shuts down the engine of the little train who could.

So don't think about that. All that will get you is a plate of roasted fail drizzled in a savory fail sauce and served with a side of fail.

Instead, think about all those people in November who write novels in a month. And think about writing the equivalent of a three to five-page paper each day until you're finished, the kind your English teacher made you write. About a thousand words per day. You can do that. It'll take you a couple of hours, maybe three. Plus you can hold down a day job. You might not get to watch TV, but what you're writing is better than anything on TV anyway, right? Maybe on a weekend you could write more than a thousand. If you were super diligent about that, you'd have a 90,000-word novel in three months.

But you're not going to be super diligent, because you have a life. Or if you don't, I'm sure you're trying to get one. That's okay, I highly recommend having a life. You can take off a day or two here and there and still make your deadline in five months. And you know what? The year's not even half over! You can write another novel before the year is out! You can even take two months off for a backpacking trip across Europe and then come home and write a novel about it!

The first novel of my series, Hounded, took me over a year because I didn't have a deadline and I was attempting to have a life. I left it alone for weeks, even months at a time because there wasn't any urgency. After I got a contract, I wrote much more quickly. :) I wrote the second book in five months. Now I'm already a third of the way through writing the third book and I have until July to finish it. The practice helps, and the deadline helps a lot.

So give yourself a deadline and start practicing. If you'd like to see how long many Sci-fi/Fantasy authors worked at getting published before selling their first book, check out this handy-dandy info here courtesy of fantasy author Jim Hines, who surveyed 246 SF/F authors and crunched the numbers. You'll see that some of them worked a long, long time. Decades. Some of them, on the other hand, sold books after a just a few years. None of them ever gave up. My data is in that survey; I wrote for 19 years before I sold my first book. If you're an aspiring writer, I hope you'll be one of those who sells theirs quickly—but if the time of "quickness" has already passed for you, I hope you'll keep working anyway—the practice helps.

Serendipitous surprises

2010-03-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

I love it when something cool happens in the writing process that I didn't plan ahead of time. Just like a reader enjoys being surprised (most of the time) by what happens in a book, I like to be surprised while I'm writing it. It's a large part of what makes writing enjoyable. The characters take on a life of their own and do things I never expected, and sometimes these surprises turn out to be major plot points.

When I'm planning a book I write chapter by chapter outline that contains the major events of each chapter, nothing more. It's a guideline with lots of room for detours. Sometimes the detours are lengthy.

For example, in Hexed I had a priest and a rabbi walk into a pagan bookstore as a joke and it turned out to become a major subplot of both that book and Hammered.

Right now, as I'm writing Hammered, a trip to Asgard that I thought was going to take one chapter has now taken four. And because of the way things have developed, there is going to be a vampire problem that I never outlined at all, but I can't wait to write it. Jesus was to make a cameo appearance in chapter four, but now he's going to be pushed back to chapter nine or ten because of other events that have developed in the meantime.

After the book is finished I like to compare the outline to the finished product. All the events of Hexed I had outlined are in there, but they're in a different sequence than I originally planned and there are several bonus events that crept in, like the priest and rabbi subplot.

25K on Hammered now. And if anyone knows a reliable Hebrew speaker, give me a shout; I need to translate a couple of sentences for the book.

Fascinating info on the biz

2010-03-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

Fantasy author Jim Hines conducted a survey of 247 sci-fi and fantasy authors—myself included—on how they broke into the business. The information should be interesting (even encouraging) to anyone trying to make their first professional sale. Here's the link. This is only part one of several blogs where he'll break down the data, so stay tuned for more updates.

Many thanks to Jim for putting this together. The numbers show that the self-publishing route is pretty grim; but it also shows that a surprising number of people have broken into the industry without an agent and without a single short story sale.

Four cool things

2010-03-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

Today I installed TweetDeck as opposed to Tweetie and I think I like it a bit more. It automatically shortens URLS (Tweetie didn't) and makes shortened links to pictures on the web if you just drag 'em in there. So that's cool thing number one. (If you're not following me on Twitter, the username is kevinhearne.)

Got the taxes finished and they weren't nearly so bad as I feared. Cool thing number two.

I get to hang out by a pool tomorrow when many, many people elsewhere are still freezing. Cool thing number three.

I've found a small groove to write in; I've only managed spastic fits here and there the last few days but I think I'll have time to write the rest of the night now—cool thing number four. 23K on Hammered.

Bookstores

2010-03-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

Caffeine withdrawal. Argggh. Unrelenting pain. But I will carry on!

Right now I'm in Payson visiting my mom and I'm sorry to say it doesn't have much in the way of bookstores. There's a library, to be sure, and I think there are a couple of used bookstores with yellowing copies of old paperbacks crowding the shelves. They'll order anything new that you want. But there isn't a bookstore one can walk into and browse the new books for hours, smell the ink and caress the paper and smile at the soft crack of the binding. There isn't a chance to discover a new author on a display some publisher has paid for, no helpful associates hand selling this title or that, no opportunity to be surprised by something and pick it up on impulse. And so I don't think I could ever live here, though Payson has many other charms. We like going to bookstores too much as a family to give up that simple pleasure.

It's been pointed out to me that Wal-Mart sells books. But one cannot enjoy browsing in a Wal-Mart. Its cold fluorescent lighting kills all joy and discourages literacy somehow. Going to a bookstore is a tacit celebration of human achievement and lofty ideas; going to Wal-Mart is a tacit acceptance of the lowest possible standards and a willingness to take advantage of exploited labor.

I've never been to Portland, but if I ever make it I will set aside a day to explore Powell's. Since I've heard disturbing things about Amazon, I'm going to switch to Powell's for my online purchases—they seem to still be focused on books, in any case, whereas Amazon has bloated to the extent that books are only a portion of their business.

Right now I'm reading A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick and The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet by Reif Larsen. Neither was purchased at Wal-Mart—I'd be surprised if Wal-Mart carried them. The latter is a loan from a friend, but the former was picked up leisurely in a bookstore after an hour's pleasant meandering amongst the shelves.

Even though I have plenty to read right now and a book of my own to write, I'll doubtlessly return to the bookstore this week; it's just something that has to be done to affirm that I'm on vacation.

Oh yeah! A surname would be good...

2010-03-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I think this character might be sticking around for a while, so maybe I should give her a surname. It's so weird that I never really thought of it before, but one of my fairly important characters, Granuaile, got all the way through two books without her last name being mentioned...even in my head. I simply never thought of her beyond the first name. So odd, since I gave full names to very minor characters.

And you know what's weirder? Nobody who's read the first two books ever asked me. Not my primary readers, not my editors, not even my mom. They were cool with her having no more than the single moniker. I think it must be because it's such a rich, full name. If you can live up to a name like Granuaile, walk around wearing it every day, then you don't really need anything else.

Still, she isn't super-duper famous yet. I don't think she could pull a Madonna and live with just the first name, so I need to come up with something...and that something is MacTiernan. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Granuaile MacTiernan. Get to know her in 2011.

Miscellanea

2010-03-12T16:24:00.000-08:00

1. Still loving The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet. I will post a full review when I'm finished.
2. Looking forward to reading Peter Brett's The Warded Man. My editor is being really spiffy and sending me a copy.
3. I have discovered that some people are really, really fascinated by their salad spinners. Perhaps it would not be going too far to say that they love their salad spinners. There is a Salad Spinner Appreciation Society on Facebook. I do not own a salad spinner, but I joined it anyway, more out of appreciation for the existence of the society than for the invention the society appreciates.
4. 20K on Hammered, hoping to make better progress this week now that I'm on spring break.
5. My assistant editor has turned me on to a band called Amon Amarth, specifically because of their song "Twilight of the Thunder God." If I typed at the tempo their drummer plays, I'd have my novel finished tomorrow.

Coincidence? I think yes!

2010-03-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

Thor the movie is currently set for a release date of May 6, 2011. My books, which all mention Thor and feature him prominently in book three, Hammered, will be coming out in May, June & July of 2011.

This is entirely coincidental.

Likewise, any similarities between the representations of Thor in the movie and in my novels are also coincidental, because both are based on original mythological sources. In the movie, Thor will have a hammer. In my books, Thor will have a hammer. That's because in the mythology...Thor has a hammer.

Someone will doubtlessly wonder, however, if my books were influenced in any way by the movie—or in any way by the comic.

No. The answer is no. My characterization of Thor is quite different. Looking at the cast list on IMDB, I see they're using gods and goddesses I'm not even mentioning, such as Frigga & Sif, & I'm certainly not using Volstagg, who's not in the original mythology at all but is rather a creation of Stan Lee.

Also, consider this: Hammered will be finished by July 2010. Its plot, however, and Thor's basic character, were written/conceived in 2008—all of which is long before I could possibly be influenced by the Marvel's movie being released in May 2011.

As for the comic, I've never read it. It might be good; I don't know. I have no plans to read it. The best Viking-themed comic out there is Northlanders, but it deals with the Viking people rather than their gods.

And now for a completely random fact: I prefer crunchy peanut butter.

Progress Report

2010-03-05T15:02:00.000-08:00

1. Still like Apples n' Cinnamon oatmeal.
2. 17K on Hammered.
3. Wrestling with capitalized pronouns for deities, especially Jesus. Atticus didn't capitalize the pronouns for any other deities, so why would he start now? Yet I also understand the convention, so I'm torn.

Spiffiness

2010-03-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

March 1, I have decided, is a spiffy day. Behold:

1) My editor told me my revisions were spiffy and formally accepted HEXED a month before it was due to be delivered. I don't think it'll ever get old to hear that I've written an acceptable novel. :)

2) I inserted an allusion to Sheriff Buford T. Justice in Chapter 4 of HAMMERED. Any day in which one alludes to Sheriff Buford T. Justice is a spiffy day.

3) I have rediscovered Apples n' Cinnamon oatmeal after a long hiatus. I wonder why I ever left.

4) Jerry Reed's "East Bound and Down" is now stuck in my head and it's not that bad. I could just as easily have something abominable stuck in my head, like a Disney song or something from Spongebob Squarepants. Instead, I'm stuck with a spiffy chase scene song with banjos. Banjos are good on March 1.

Progress Report

2010-02-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Though I have doubts that such entries as these are engrossing, I like to make them for the purposes of my own documentation....so:

1) The Ifing River in the Prose Edda is supposed to separate Asgard and Jotunheim. That would put Asgard and Jotunheim on the same plane. But in the Poetic Edda, generally considered to be the older source (and the one I'm relying on), Jotunheim is on the same plane as Midgard—a plane clearly below that of Asgard. Grrr. I want rivers in my Asgard but (thus far) the named rivers I've found don't match up with the cosmology I'm using. So yeah, you know. Fiddlesticks. Darn it. Gaahh!

2) I'm at 10K words now in Hammered. It's going a bit slower than Hexed because, well, there's this whole world-building thing to do. The first two books were set in the East Valley and I've been there. Anyway, I'm feeling a bit more free, the frozen pack ice of my brain is breaking up and I'm seeing clear sailing through the floes...

This blog is Snake-Free!

2010-02-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

Follow your fancy, says the New Belgium Brewing Company's slogan. Normally I do not do what brewing companies tell me to, but this once I suppose I'll succumb because it amuses me.

Right now my fancy is the hyphenated compound modifier "snake-free." I have been chuckling over it for a couple of days now, and if I'm honest I've even chortled once or twice. It has sunk its fangs into my brain like a vampiric mind cobra and it won't let go.

One of my friends used it innocently while soliciting suggestions for hikes. She wanted her hike to be snake-free and beautiful, and I just started laughing. Words do that to me sometimes.

I just began to imagine what it would be like to advertise products that way. If I saw three different packages of coffee, for example, and one of them had the words "NOW SNAKE-FREE! COMPARE WITH OTHER BRANDS!" in a little yellow starburst, I think I'd have to buy it. The other brands would seem less savory to me somehow, because they did not loudly proclaim their freedom from snakes.

This blog, by the way, is totally snake-free! Compare with other blogs!

This is not a snake-free sentence, unfortunately. Many of my other sentences are, however, including this one.

I have discovered that adding "snake-free" to everyday objects can rescue our daily routine from mundanity and add a whiff of adventure where normally none is expected. To wit: She put on her pajamas and curled up on the couch with a mug of cocoa and a snake-free blanket.

See? Whoever she is, she lives in a world where snakes sometimes occupy blankets. That's edgy. Anything can happen in a world like that. In fact, it sounds like something that movie trailer guy would say to pitch an apocalyptic blockbuster. He'd say in that deep, gravelly growl, "In a world where snakes sometimes occupy blankets," you'd see a python slithering up this woman's thigh, and then everyone in the theater would go "Oh, snap!" and cram a handful of popcorn down their throats before they lost their minds and screamed.

I'm having chili with onions for dinner tonight, so I'll have to brush my teeth immediately afterward with snake-free toothpaste. That's right. It's the best toothpaste you can possibly buy. EVERY dentist recommends it.

I hope you work and live in a snake-free environment. Next time you think your job sucks, think of all the people out there who have to deal with all the stuff you do, plus snakes.

Games as a gateway to cultural literacy?

2010-02-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

There's a new video game out called Dante's Inferno. It's based on Dante's epic vision o' hell, changing a couple of plot elements but sticking with the nine levels and all the monsters, plus many of the shades mentioned in the poem. And check it out: my students seem mildly interested in actually reading it now.

Whoa.

I'm not the sorta dude who scoffs or sneers at anything that makes a kid pick up a classic, so I applaud EA for doing this and I'm actually somewhat tempted to try out the game; what I'm loving, though, is the fact that students were interested in a classic that's not precisely easy reading. It's COOL reading, no doubt, but neither is it simple stuff.

Here's what happened: my spiffy Asst. Editor at Del Rey, Mike Braff, sent me a copy of the companion book, Dante's Inferno (the complete text of the Longfellow translation) with screen shots of the game and how they developed it, etc. Here's a link to the book. He signed it and I offered it to the kids as a giveaway in a drawing. I asked 'em to write their names on a scrap o' paper if they wanted to go for it, and over half of them did. Think about it: teenagers interested in reading a classic on their own initiative? That's...amazing! Hopeful! A new dawn, perhaps?

Now, if only they'd make games for other classics! How about The Great Gatsby? You have to save Gatsby and make Tom and Daisy pay for their carelessness! You can't let the rich people get away with everything! Stop them! Run over Daisy with Gatsby's car!

I think Robert E. Howard's stories would adapt well to the video game milieu. You're Conan the Barbarian, master thief and master, uh, barbarian. You try to steal stuff, and if you fail, just kill everything until you escape! Yeah! That's entertainment!

Seriously, I'm grateful to EA for the Neato Idea. I hope it works out well for them, and I hope many young'uns will discover Dante as a result.

Down with the Smug Florist Cartel!

2010-02-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

In days of yore (which is what people said before they said back in the day) I would try to buy something nice for my wife like a blouse or a dress or something else that is sold in a department store by exquisitely coiffed salespeople, and I would find myself befuddled. What size dress did she wear? Heck, what size jeans or shoes or anything? These things are mysteries to most men because women's sizes are nothing like men's. Completely flummoxed, I'd be reduced to buying flowers or something plain like that...and now, I realize, I was supposed to feel that way, and react precisely the way I did. The confusing conventions of women's fashion are undoubtedly a conspiracy crafted by smug florists and saucy chocolatiers! They want clothiers to be intimidating to men so that they order giant bouquets and boxes of calories out of sheer embarrassment!

O, the ignominy! I see now how I've been manipulated all my life! How many times have I walked by a store, seen a mannequin modeling something I thought would look nice on my wife, and squashed the impulse to buy it for her because I was too embarrassed to take a guess at the right size?

You hear that, clothing retailers? Your bewildering sizing practices are stifling impulse buys. You've been steering us to smug florists for centuries. It's all part of their master plan.

But now there's this neato doohickey that frees men from the tyranny of flowers and chocolate and shiny rocks! It's called the Guy's Guide to the Right Size and it's cheap! I got myself one and I'm kinda giddy with all the possibilities before me. I can now walk in anywhere—even the lingerie section (gasp!)—and buy some stuff that I'm sure will fit my wife and I'm also reasonably sure she'll like, because her preferences are marked down in the guide. They have a guide for girls, too, so they can walk into the (far simpler) world of men's fashion and get stuff their guys like. (The shadow conspiracy against men's fashion is run by Home Depot. Girls who don't know what to get their guys just buy them tools.)

Disclaimer: The amount of money/fame/swag I get for this is Diddly Squat. Diddly Squat has been proven to equal less than zero in clinical laboratory tests. I cannot tell you where those clinical labs are, because I know Diddly Squat about their names or locations.

Right. I'm off to begin the revolution against the Smug Florist Cartel. Join me!

Kinda Sorta Firm Publishing Dates!

2010-02-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

Today I got the word on when my books will be coming out! I've known for a long time that they'd be out sometime in 2011, and I've known that they'd be published back-to-back-to-back (that's b2b2b if you wanna use publishin' jargon), but I didn't know any more than that. Now I can give you a clearer picture:

HOUNDED in May 2011

HEXED in June 2011

HAMMERED in July 2011

Hopefully everyone will have enough time to save up $7.99 plus tax by then. :) Once I get firm dates I'll post that too, but it will probably be a few more months. I can, however, practically guarantee that it'll be a Tuesday!

Spock and Kirk Shoulder Buddies

2010-02-04T16:41:00.000-08:00

Instead of an angel and a demon whispering advice in either ear, I want a mini-Spock talking to my left brain and a mini-Kirk talking to my right. Spock will give me the logical argument; Kirk will give me the emotional one. While they fight, I will most likely be destroyed by Klingons.

I'm into chapter three of Hammered now, expecting editorial notes on Hexed soon. I'm preoccupied with the magical nature of cold iron vs. regular iron, and drawing sketches of Asgard.

Oh, plus Hemingway and Modernist poetry. :)

Hand Drawn Maps ROCK!

2010-01-28T19:11:00.000-08:00

I recently Tweeted about this, but it's too cool to confine to 140 characters. I found the Hand Drawn Map Association! Check this one out, the Blue Plate Map!

It's a great site to explore. Some of the maps suck a little bit, but every single one of them has more character than anything generated by a machine. You can have your cold, calculated, stunningly accurate GPS maps; I'll take maps generated by someone else's set of spatial relationships any day! The possibility that you might not reach your intended destination by following them is a large part of their beauty! Every hand-drawn map represents a paradigm shift and the opportunity to visit someone else's head space for a while.

I'm going to submit my own map soon, and rather than populate the dangerous, unknown areas with illustrations of sea monsters, I will sketch caricatures of social conservatives.